


Kaleidoscope

by anastacianott



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Brother Feels, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brothers, Canon Divergence - Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel)-centric, Loki Whump, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, Odin (Marvel)'s Bad Parenting, Other, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Thor (2011), Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pre-Thor (2011), Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Post-Credits Scene, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, thor whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2019-10-24 22:59:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 36,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17713274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastacianott/pseuds/anastacianott
Summary: A marathon of ideas or parts of stories, without beginning or end, that would verb your imagination as to what is going on. All consist of Loki because I love him (time travel, AUs of everything, whump, etc etc).





	1. Chapter 1

~o~0~o~

Hello!

This is my marathon of Loki prompts! I had this idea for _ever_ , to have a field of discussion where you can imagine what is ever happening here J I would _love_ to know your points of view, what is going to happen or happened before, because most of these pieces don’t have clear beginning or end, just a slice of life.

I had a ton of ideas, but they didn’t go further than my notebook. Still, the ideas I wanted to share, because I am too miserable or lazy or inept to write a decent fic from them.

I warn you that most of these are Loki angst and whump, but as always I hold only the best wishes for my god ; ) (I think I showed it with my other fics) Cause I love him. I don’t agree with anything they did to a character since TDW. Ragnarok is trash, regarding Loki’s portrayal, just a joke. Fight me.

I will try to post something every week, some stories can be 100 words, others 2000K.

Any comments are welcome. Enjoy!

~ I ~

Loki had a dream that Thanos' ship will approach them and kill everyone on board. Loki woke up with a scream on his lips, he was feeling so cold he couldn't even move from fear of what he saw. After a moment, he pulled himself together, the visions of his captivity before his eyes not disappearing no matter how he tried to banish them. The remembered pain and horror he lived in for so long away from the nine realms so fresh in his mind, as if he didn't escape but was _still_ tortured and all _this_ was just a dream.

But no. If anything – the disgraced prince, abandoned son, monster and villain - he was a survivor. And his whole essence screamed and howled to get away, and get away right NOW.

Because otherwise something, or _someone_ , would catch up with the last of Asgardian people to wipe them out from existence.

And what would this someone do to Loki, he couldn't even imagine without wanting to throw up or kill himself to spare himself an eternity of torment.

Not going to happen.

Loki stood up, fear making his movements quicker, his mind sharper. He knew what he had to do.

Thor... He wouldn't understand, not at first, but Loki couldn't risk it. Couldn't risk Thor. And others.

He had to do it.

Conjuring the Tesseract was easy. Immediately Loki felt it whisper, calling to him. And for once, Loki was going to listen. Closing his eyes Loki concentrated.

In the next moment the ship with the last of Asgard disappeared in blue light.

~o~0~o~

"What in the Hel?!"

"What happened?"

"Where are we?"

Thor was seething. He didn't understand what happened. One second he looked on the map with Heimdall, discussing how long it will take to reach Midgard and in the other, the world lighted up in blue and they were thrown across the room. When they pulled themselves up and looked around, the stars were different. Sharing confusing looks, they returned to the map and Thor gaped. They were so much further than a moment ago! Who did this?! How did it happen?!

Loki.

He would start from him.

~o~0~o~

"Brother."

"Did you do it?! Did you - is that the _Tesseract_?"

"Yes."

"You-!"

Loki flinched. Was Thor really going to hit him? Thor stopped himself, with great effort, and instead snapped the cube from Loki's trembling hands. Loki just couldn't stop trembling, his nerves he tried to heal for years now, so hardly won little victories when he didn't flinch from any move, any loud noise, any contact - have now betrayed him. And all because of Thanos. He was pathetic.

~o~0~o~

Thor has had enough. He truly has had enough of Loki.

"Brother. I need to tell you something-"

"No, Loki! _No_."

His brother recoiled. Thor snapped his mouth shut but frustration and so much anger at Loki won over his guilt. Enough was enough.

"I don't care about your excuses. I don't care what tales you will pour for me to hear. I don't care. I want you to leave this ship and get lost. You... You... Everything you do, Loki... You really are irredeemable. I tried so hard, but the others were right. There is no hope for you. And I wish to have nothing of it anymore. I don't want to have anything more to do with you. Get out. Get out of this ship. Now it is truly over, Loki."

Thor wanted Loki to feel his rage, and to hear him, that is why he looked into his eyes all the while he was talking. Otherwise, he would have missed the moment Loki seemed to... to break? Loki cared not for anything, so why was he looking as if dead inside? No matter. He said his word, his law. Right? But Loki also didn't smirk, didn't scoff. He did nothing but look at him. Why did his heart squeeze in pain from that look? Loki had to stop. He had to... Thor could see Loki's hands shake. Why... He said he wouldn't listen, but should he? Maybe he...

"All right, brother. That is a goodbye then."  Loki whispered. Before Thor could decide what to do (call him back? apologize? hug him?) Loki took a step back and almost run from him. Thor was left to stand, feeling as if he has made a huge mistake.

~o~0~o~

He didn't have anything but his armor on his back. He truly had nothing. The situation starkly reminded him of the battle on Bifrost. Failing in the Void. Then he also had nothing. Absolutely. Nothing. Loki laughed. Sobbed. He truly was alone now, having not a thing in the whole world. For some reason he imagined his baby self, left on the frozen rock, to die. Was it not the same? Thousand years in between, but his fate was the same.

Abandoned, starved, left to die.

For once he volunteered to share the information, because, a funny thing, no one ever asked him, nobody _cared_. And when he has finally found the courage, he was denied. Rejected. Dismissed. Because when ever Loki was listened to?

~o~0~o~

"You know. I really think he had something important to say."

"What?"

"Your brother. I think you needed to listen to him."

"... Why do you think so?"

"No reason. I just thought I recognized the look in his eyes."

"What look?"

"The look... the look of a person facing the upcoming death."

~o~0~o~

Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Time travel fix-it! My favorite ♥

~ II ~

~o~0~o~

Loki was back in the past, right in the middle of Thor's coronation. He momentarily recognized what happened, but before he could somehow proceed to what to do, the unbearable pain in his head made him fall on his knees and scream. For a moment he was horrified Thanos took a hold on him, again, but no. The pain was different. But still unbearable.

It didn't matter that thousands of people watched him, the pain was blinding and deafening. He couldn't even hear how his mother shouted in alarm and fear when he dropped like the dead on the golden floor, blood seeping from his eyes and ears. Aside from that first agonized scream when Loki thought his skull was split open, he made no sound, he was unable. After unbearable moments of feeling torturous pain in his head, Loki had finally lost consciousness.

~o~0~o~

Aesir watched in dismay and incredulity how the second Prince let out a short horrible scream full of pain right in the middle of the heir becoming their king, and then fell down. Many instantly suspected Loki to just take everyone's attention on himself, knowing him jealous and bitter about Thor takes the throne. Some even laughed at such a childish trick, sneering in disgust. That was until the closest person to the dais saw the blood of the Prince that marred the floor, so much of it. Women screamed in horror at how their second Prince became pale and deathly looking, his movements slowing to a complete stop. The Queen was screaming for the healers. Thor stood still, not believing in what was happening. Thor's friends joined him, murmuring something quietly in his ear, the Lady Sif somewhat angry. Thor looked at his father and saw him, unmoving on the throne, looking a little bored if that was possible. Thor didn't know what to think. Loki could simply be faking the whole thing... ruining his day of triumph. That was what the Warriors Three were thinking, as well as Sif. But as Eir was directing her apprentices to help move Loki, who was _white_ , Odin suddenly called for Thor to quickly come with him.  
As Thor was leaving the throne room with bitterness and anger at Loki, he promised himself to make his brother pay for it.

~o~0~o~

The joining of the bloody Frost Giants to the equation was the last drop. _The monsters dared!_ Everything looked suspicious and one look at father confirmed that Loki's interruption and then the Jotuns' suicidal attack was not a coincidence. And Thor would find out the truth.  
All his rage and spite at Loki for what the snake did vanished in a second Thor saw mother crying at Loki's bedside. The picture where his mother, the Queen, who was always presentable without a hint of what she felt in front of others, got shattered in a million pieces.

Frigga was weeping, holding Loki's limp hand as it was her anchor in the world. Finally, looking where his brother lay on the bed in the Hall of Healing, Thor felt his heart stutter in horror and fear. Loki as if got older in those hours he was absent, so different and barely recognizable anymore. His face was stone still and lifeless. No color was left. Thor didn't think he would feel afraid again like that time in Nornheim, when he almost lost his brother to death. Loki miraculously survived then. Now... One look at Loki and Thor doubted it would end with a miracle again.

His mother cried out when she saw him step into the room as if in a daze. Thor was near her immediately, gathering her in a hug. His eyes were still on Loki.  
Brother, what happened to you?  
"My son." Frigga sobbed. Thor wasn't sure who she meant.  
"What is wrong with him?" He asked with a trembling voice. Loki was as good as dead, that with no blood left in his face, with his lips blue and almost absent breath in his chest.  
"Thor, tell me... Have you seen Loki in pain? Maybe he was feeling unwell before? Have you noticed your brother's health worsening in previous days? Please tell me."  
"No, mother. I... I didn't notice. Loki was fine. I swear he was fine!"  
"Sweet Norns, for what you punish us?! Why him?! Why my Loki?!"  
"Mother! Please tell me what is wrong with him!"  
"No one knows," Frigga squeezed his hands. "It is something with his brain, it... It is like a hemorrhage." On Thor's dumbfounded look, Frigga explained. "Effusion of blood, like a stroke..." The Queen teared up again. "But how could it happen?! Loki has been never ill since childhood! What curse is this..."  
Thor held his mother tighter, disbelieving that Loki could have hid something this big from him and their friends. A stroke, effusion. Norns.  
But surely! Surely they would have noticed! Surely... Only he wasn't so sure. Loki was avoiding them lately. Their friends, and Thor himself, thought it was because of the oncoming coronation and Loki was just jealous and couldn't make himself be glad for Thor, but with the newfound information, Loki... Oh no. Loki could have been ill and they didn't notice! All this time Loki could have suffered in silence, but Thor's mind was completely on his coronation! Everyone neglected to see deeply in Loki's behavior. Gods, he was such a fool!  
Thor prayed his brother would wake up. His coronation was completely forgotten.

~o~0~o~

People started to believe Loki's sudden illness a bad omen, that Thor's coronation would bring out destruction and ruin.

~o~0~o~

Loki was afraid to open his eyes. Not enough that it hurt to form a simple thought, but it was unknown what reality he would see. Because Loki remembered - he was at Thor's coronation. How it was possible, he had absolutely no idea. It was absurd, unbelievable.  
But what if...  
What if fate took pity on him, for all his misery and despair? What if he had his second chance to live?  
Loki always thought himself unlucky - just look at his history! Unwanted, abandoned, monster, took in just to be a pawn. Disrespected, always in shadows, mocked and unlikable. Rejected and left for dead. Locked up for eternity and forgotten. But maybe...  
He could now... live? It was too good to be true. But if it was... He would not be so foolish enough to make the same mistakes.  
And if it was true, it was not surprising - his condition. The years worth of memories were thrown into his younger (good, naive, lost) self, resulting in his brain overload. If Loki knew anything in healing, then it would pass. Surely, it would not happen instantly, but in time he would be back to his... his...  
Health, position, _freedom_ …  
He was free, he was still a Prince of Asgard, he was still a good son who didn't know about the monster under his skin, and his _parents_ didn't even suspect that he knew their dirty little secret.  
Oh. How... delightful.  
And just because no one would ever think about the possibility of time travel, he would be treated as gravely ill. Eir, no matter how he once liked her, wouldn't come out with a right diagnosis. Sorry, Eir. But better you don't know.  
Loki didn't know how much time passed since he lost consciousness (in front of all of Asgard, like a flower, gah). No matter. Asgard thought worse of him anyway. It was nothing. Maybe he would even play on some emotions, why not. He recalled that there was a lot of blood he lost. It was even better.

~o~0~o~

"Oh, my son! Why didn't you tell anybody?"  
"Mother?"  
"It couldn't have had appeared from nowhere. Tell me, when you started to feel bad?"  
"I..."  
"Please, don't lie to me!"  
Hmm...  
"It started... It started a week or something before O- before father proclaimed Thor his heir, I think... At first I thought it was because I felt nervous, and then upset, but the- the pain stayed for the next day. And the next. I confess I dismissed it, because - what is a headache? I could have simply inhaled some toxic potions in my studies, I don't know. So I let it be. I know I did a foolish thing, not asking Eir but... " Well, it was true. "But everyone's been very busy. I didn't want to ruin the Thor's day."  
"You... you foolish child!" Frigga shouted at him in anger after what started to cry again. As much as it was amusing to lie to everyone, seeing his mother's tears was not.  
"Mother, please..."  
"You could have died, do you understand that?! Died because of... Your health is more important than the coronation! To Hel with it if that meant you would be well. Loki..."  
Here Loki could no longer pretend and gathered his mother in his arms. It was unreal for him to hold her. Because the last time he did... It was so long ago, right after Laufey hurt her. After that Loki had only an illusion.  
"I must tell your father and Thor. Your brother was beyond himself with worry for you, my son." But not Odin, huh? Interesting, what did Odin feel?  
"I am sure you exaggerate, mother. Thor cared not for me-"  
"No! He was worried! Do not lower his care for you, boy!" Care for a Jotun. Especially by this version of Thor.  
"I am sorry... I don't know why I am saying such things... everything's confusing. But..."  
"Yes?"  
"W-what about Thor? Is he king? Have I missed it?"  
"Oh. No. It was cancelled. And something else happened in the midst of chaos."  
"What?"  
"The Jotuns." Oh dear. "Some of them got into the vault."  
"Norns, mother. I hope no one is hurt, and they are dead!" He wasn't really glad for their deaths if he was honest with himself, but... He was also ashamed of himself for using the Bifrost as the means of destruction. Damn him. "What did they want? "

Frigga was looking strangely at him, sadly. But she looked down and took her emotions on hold.  
"They wanted the Casket Odin took from them in the war."  
"I see. Though... you said, some of them? Not many?

"Just a few. They are dead now... My son. Please."

"Mother?"

"Please be careful."

"Always, mother. I will be very careful." _From now on._

~o~0~o~

The Warriors Three and Sif entered the healing room and Loki stilled. How foolish he was to want to win their sympathy, their respect. They never had it for him. Poor foolish child.  
"Wow, lad. You look..."  
Older. He was looking like he was the last time he remembered himself. With sharp bones, weary hardened eyes, lines on his face from various hardships. Loki was so very tired. And now on his young face it looked all the more obvious. This young Loki hasn't endured the Void, the Titan, the Other, the Hulk, the prison. The death.  
"What are you doing here? " Loki asked turning away from them. He was done playing alone with their farce. They were here to accuse him and speak on the behalf of Thor’s wounded pride. Not because they cared Loki was ill. So why bother. After this day no one would mistake these four for Loki Odinson’s friends.  
"Oh! Can’t friends come to inquire about their friend's health? You gave everyone quite a scare."  
"I am alive."  
"That’s it? Nothing else to say, no tale to spread?"  
"No."  
"Won't you even look at us?" Sif hissed, trying to seem friendly, but failing spectacularly.  
"Why, lady Sif. I might have almost died from the cob in my brain but I distantly remember your face sneering in _disgust_ as I lay bleeding."  
The way all four's faces paled and then shifted in discomfort was so interesting to watch. Because Loki surprised them. Never before he was so bold as to call them out on their behavior. He was silent before their jabs. Just endured their arrogance.  
Not anymore. He was not the same Loki. And they should know that.  
"Wow, Loki. Harsh. Sif would never do that, right? We all know that! You must have imagined it." Fandral tried to make the situation better, as always. "But I hear from your lips it was bad, huh?"

“Nothing I want to share with you. Now. Be so kind as to leave me.” Too villainous too soon? Loki thought as the four people stared at him. “I don’t feel well.” There. Better.

“Oh. Yes! Of course, er. Get well, Loki.” Vostagg muttered uncertainly, turning to the exit. The others followed after, throwing the man nervous gazes.

Loki watched them until the doors closed. After what he lay down and closed his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

~ III ~

~o~0~o~

 _At least Heimdall took care of the Tesseract_ , Loki thought melancholy as Thanos’ hand closed over his neck.

When _Sanctuary II_ fired at _Statesman_ for the first time, Loki knew it would end in death. His, most likely, but it mattered not. Thor needed to survive. If there was any chance for the battle against the mad titan to be won, Thor needed to survive.

And Loki would help him with it as long as he could.

The Aesir survived the destroying of Asgard, they survived Hela. And all be damned if they couldn’t survive a bunch of filthy aliens. The Valkyrie screamed and seethed, but she took care of the people and took them away from the battlefield, that now raged aboard the _Statesman_.

Heimdall and Thor fought against Cull Obsidian, while Loki was trying to distract Maw. It was difficult and Loki was losing, but at least he was giving the other two gods time. The Hulk was engaged with Proxima and Corvus and his chances looked manageable.

But all of this meant nothing when Thanos stepped his feet on the ship. The moment it happened, everything as if stopped.

Loki knew they were the dead men. In the second when everyone was distracted by Thanos’ arrival, Loki threw a spell so that Heimdall disappeared from everyone’s eyes but his. Not that Loki went around and preened about how intelligent he was, no. But he suspected that if the worse came to worse, Heimdall would have the power to transport Thor to safety, so the Thunderer would continue his journey.

Even if it meant being alone.

 

Loki could not suppress his pained howl when Thanos pushed his arm with the knife away and in the next breath titan’s another – gauntleted – hand hit him across it, breaking it seemed all the bones in his left arm. Dazed from agony Loki thought he heard Thor shouting his name, but his mind was too distracted with watching purple energy dance across his broken arm, multiplying the painful sensations. It took seconds until he couldn’t feel his arm, which now fell uselessly at his side.

It would be difficult to live without an arm.

Before Loki could fully comprehend what his revelation meant to him, his eyes snapped up when he felt a crushing weight on his throat.

_Oh gods._

Thanos decided to stop playing with the food and has gone for the kill. Loki’s mind exploded in panic and fear, when he couldn’t take a single breath. It was even worse than his arm. Loki felt blood streaming down his face, his veins bulge painfully, his vision going dark.

_It was the end._

Loki swore he had one last heartbeat to live, when the hand holding him suddenly disappeared and Loki fell on the ground hard. He gasped for air, but it was a very close call, that he didn’t know if he breathed again or just couldn’t anymore. Then he felt hands touching him, carefully but hurriedly. Loki, still wheezing, tried to open his eyes, but everything was a red blur, he couldn’t see. It hurt to see.

The whine was ripped from his throat as he was straightened out to sit across from the one who was near. His magic was working relentless to heal the horrible damage to his throat, but Loki was tired, he didn’t have enough energy _to begin with_.

“-ki. Loki! Please!

No. No, it was too painful. Loki wanted to freeze time so that it would. Stop. Hurting. He couldn’t feel his arm, his neck – by the gods – it hurt something horrible, his mouth was full of blood, he still couldn’t see much. But he was pushed to his feet, that couldn’t hold his weight and was half carried somewhere.

_Please just leave him somewhere to rest._

He felt Bifrost energy envelop him and would have cried from relief, if it didn’t mean that he was jolted from all sides by the jump and after eternity dropped somewhere hard. He didn’t move anymore.

 

“Loki? How… How is your arm?”

“I think it’s gone, Thor.”

He could see the moment Thor comprehended his words and the horror that stole his breath away. But the Thunderer schooled his face to a smile – weak and pathetic – to reassure him.

“I don’t believe there is nothing to be done. We-we will find a way, brother.”

 

“I wanted to save it!”

“For yourself?!”

“NO! Keep it away from him! So he would never get his hands on it.”

“No, Loki. I’m sorry. I truly am. Please come here. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Well. You rarely not do so.”

“I am sor-“

“Forget it.”

“So. What do we do?”

“We plan, brother.”

~o~0~o~

Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

~ IV ~

Thor The Dark World AU.

~o~0~o~

What if Loki was indeed suicidal and wanted, dreamed that after everything he had to go through, to suffer he would surrender himself to Asgard. Loki wanted his life to be over, for Thor to take him back to die at the only home he ever had, real or not.

But his plans failed and Odin didn't kill him.

Typical.

But the wish remained still.

 

The first thing Loki is faced with while entering the cell is emptiness. Nothing is there, just three white walls. He knows that it would hurt him soon enough - this harsh light. But comparing with never ending darkness, for a while it is a good change of scenery.

 

Realizing that no one would visit him (will they ever?) Loki finds himself very very tired. He hasn't slept for so long it was ridiculous. So maybe here, alone, away from everything, Loki could let himself go already and close his eyes to rest. There on the floor (not the worst place if to think about it) just lie down and sleep.

 

~o~0~o~

The guards came to the All Father when he was with Thor and told them both that the prisoner Loki lay down two days ago and has not stirred yet, motionless and still. Eat he didn't either.

Thor immediately suspected some trick, maybe even a prison break - Loki is waiting for them to come into a cell and then under his illusion - escape. Odin suspected as much and ordered Thor to find out, using any methods in restraining Loki if need be.

 

Thor ordered to instantly close the force field after him as soon as he will be inside with the prisoner, to which the Einherjar obeyed. Thor stomped to the huddled figure in the corner of the cell, harshly turning the body on its back.

 

The Thunderer was right - Loki was using an illusion. Only it was not that kind of illusion. And it made him reel inside.

Loki appeared to be indeed in a deep slumber (Loki knew he was safe here, it was enough) - a sleep so deep that Loki must have lost the connection to his consciousness entirely, making him lose the glamour he had on his body. His face gaunt and gray, yellowish purple bags under his eyes, dangerously malnourished frame and sickly looking body. Gasping involuntarily, Thor even noticed the discoloration of skin, where there were traces of burns on Loki's hairline and neck that... weren't there before. Looking more closely, Thor saw strange marks on Loki's temples as well, as if something was plugged to his brother's head.

Loki looked beaten but not by the Hulk. It was something else.

Something evil.

 

When Thor manhandled Loki into wakefulness, the Trickster did it sluggishly, with much difficulty as if to open one's eyes was the hardest thing in the world. Loki's body was heavy from sleep and slow to react to a rough treatment, but some kind of instinct pushed in and soon enough, Loki jerked himself awake and aware that someone was there with him in a cell. Thor let Loki scramble away more because of the shock of the sight he has seen than of slowness. Green eyes finally fully alert, Loki slowly covered his face with a hand still glaring at Thor and after a green spark, the illusion of healthy body was back in place. Even if Loki knew that Thor saw everything.

 

"What are you doing here?" Loki asked without any trace of emotion in his quiet voice.

Thor swallowed and realized that he had no idea how to answer the simple question. His mind was too confused to find something to say. Loki watched and then huffed. His anger was pointless.

"Get out."

Thor was taken aback by quiet words, but in his surprise and utter confusion, he did just that.

Turning on his way from the dungeons, Thor saw Loki lying back on the floor to resume his sleep.

 

~o~0~o~

"Did I ask for a bed?" Thor and Frigga were silent. "So I didn't. So take it from wherever you took it and leave me be. I don't require anything from you, the least of all your pity."

"Then you deny the things we give you?"

Loki rolled his eyes tired away.

"The only thing I asked for was denied to me. So why should I need anything else?"

"What did you ask for? Maybe something could be arranged, Loki." Frigga asked. More like pleaded.

"Oh. Then it would be agreeable. Maybe even you, Thor, could arrange it for me."

"What is it, Loki?"

"My death."


	5. Chapter 5

~ V ~

Valkyrie came back to the ship and saw only the wreckage. Bodies. Death.

It was Asgard all over again.

She didn’t find Thor. But she has found Heimdal.

And she has found Loki.

Brunhilde grieved. She failed at protecting the throne. Loki was dead. Dead. She suffered when she closed his eyes, when she had to bid his way to Valhalla.

Tony and Nebula heard an SOS signal, not knowing it was too late. There they found Valkyrie.

"Oh... God."

Valkyrie swore that she would return the bodies of the watchman and her prince to Thor. 

 

Loki wakes up in Hel. He never realized that he would not be able to go to Valhalla, to his mother. He so wished. But he was Jotun. He had no place with her. Even in death, Odin denied him.

Loki choked with grief. He died. And he lost. And he was alone.

Hela comes and they talk. Truly talk. Over their deaths, over Odin and his lies. Over Thor and over Thanos. Hela laughs when Loki asks if she could help.

She tells Loki if he wanted to be back, she would need his body to revive him.

For the first time in a very long time, Loki feels joy being a part of the family. He has a sister. And Hela feels the same.

‘I wouldn't mind dying beside you’. 

 

Benatar descends on Earth. It would be some time before someone comes for them. But as Valkyrie steps from the ship, a black portal appears and there Hela is. She overpowers the trio and comes to Loki's body. Valkyrie is screaming at her as she watches helpless as Hela’s goons bring Loki's body and lay it unceremoniously under her feet.

‘NO! Don't you dare, demoness! Leave him alone! You bitch don't touch him! Don't touch my prince!’

Hela smirks at her disdainfully.Val wails angrily as Hela casually turns Loki's head so the ugly bruising are of the view before everyone. Humming to herself, Hela looks up at the trio. She then grabs Loki by the neck in a swift motion hails him upright. Before Val could shout out, Hela swept away in a portal. With Loki's body.

‘No! No no no...’ The portal appears again and when Brunhilde with a scream raises her sword to kill anyone who comes out, she freezes as no other than Loki is stumbling out of it. He gasps and then falls as if he forgot how to walk. Val is so shocked she does not see Hela steps right behind her brother. She looks surprisingly concerned when Loki fails to stand up and seems to go into some sort of panic attack.

Really, it was bound to happen. After so much shit happening to him with no outlet, everything keeping inside, he was no longer able to hold himself aloof and strong.

He died. Died in pain and terror. He suffered for years with no witnesses. He hurt and hurt and hurt.

Now the fact that he was back to life, that his neck was in agony, his vision so lacking, his sanity barely holding on…

He almost forgot what it felt to feel the sun and hear the wind being in Hel. He was oversensitive and weak.

He felt someone touching his shoulder and shuddered in fright. What if it was the Black Order? Or Thanos? What if...

But very carefully he was being swept into the embrace. He couldn't hold his gasp (whimper) as he felt his neck shift. But that someone was holding him secure, safe. He still could not see properly but he recognized the feeling of armor, hair and scent of a drink. Valkyrie?

‘Val…’ His voice broke. Brunhilde sobbed in relief and held him tighter before reluctantly releasing him.

He felt her suddenly leaping on her feet and heard the steel. Her sword. He felt helpless, he still couldn't see.

‘Get _back_!’

‘Oh, get lost. Loki?’

He heard a low growl and felt a hand on his back, bizarrely comforting, realizing that literally _death_ was touching him.

‘H-hela?’

‘Yes. Don't worry, little brother. It will pass. Coming to life is hella painful. Huh?’

‘Not.. funny.’

‘Yeah, right. Lie to yourself.’

The Valkyrie gritted her teeth in sheer impotence as she watched both Loki and Hela sitting on the ground together and her prince leaning on her and she supporting him patiently.

She felt Stark losing his shit behind her, but she couldn't help him. She was so angry she could barely stand still.Nebula stubbornly stepped to the kneeling siblings.

‘Who are you? The golding I know of, but you are?’

‘Oh darling, I am someone who would one day greet you in my kingdom. I am Hela the goddess of Death.’

‘What?’ Stark asked confused.

‘I am greatly surprised you know of my brother. I also suspect how exactly you two met. And what you did to him. So I wonder, shouldn't I take you with me so much sooner than your time, hmm?’

Nebula stiffened and stood in protective position. Hela smiled menacingly. But a hand on hers stopped her.

‘Hela...’

Loki finally took his other hand from his eyes. He seemed to regain some of his sight, he had started to heal himself slowly. And he didn't want Hela to maim or kill anyone, no less their possible allies.

‘Desist.’

‘Bold of you to command me when –‘

‘Please, stop it.’

Hela actually shut up. She never imagined she would worry for the brat. But seeing him sitting on the ground pale and injured and small... She relented. For now at least.

‘Can you stand?’

‘Um... With help?’ He smiled charmingly. It would have been charming if his face wasn't grey color and all bloodied. Hela sighed dramatically.

‘Oh all right.’


	6. Chapter 6

~ VI ~

"HEIMDALL!"

~o~0~o~

Thor has got his coronation. It was so strange. He couldn't have predicted that it would happen on a ship drifting in space with a number of survivors fleeting from Ragnarok. The Valkyrie has already found a bottle from somewhere. Hulk has gone at the hold. Heimdall though, was strangely silent.

Well. And of course there was an elephant in the room.

"There is a lot of work ahead of us. Valkyrie, do you know how many of us survived?"

"Um, yeah. Sure, I know. Too little."

"Is it really necessary?" Thor asked pointing on the bottle.

"Yeah."

"Heimdall?"

"I think Lackey knows how to make some facial recognition by the ship or something. Where is he anyway?"

"I would have thought that he would like to bask at the attention. Because he was a hero today." Thor smiled. The Valkyrie snorted.

"My king."

"But I know him. He is already across half the galaxy by now."

"Thor."

"Yes?"

"Thor. Do you... Do you remember how you sent Loki to the vault?"

"Of course."

"Loki- he would have been in the vault as the Ragnarok started."

"Yes, I know Heimdall. I sent him there. What is your point?" Thor asked a little irritated. His wounds hurt and Loki left him to figure out everything alone. He turned to Brunhilde but she suddenly became quiet.

"My king. You sent your brother to the vault. How could he have appeared here if he were so inclined?"

"Heimdall. You and I both know Loki can - can teleport. He does it all the time. It's his choice that he is not here. Isn't it always?"

"There are no portals in the vault, my king."

"What? What portals?"

"There are no portals there. And Loki couldn't have escaped."

"Thor..." Brun whispered.

"I don't understand. What portals? Loki needs no portals."

"Loki always needs portals to walk the places. There were no portals in the vault. Thor. Loki didn't escape the vault."

Thor... stopped. Thor stopped, as the noise stopped, the smell stopped and as did the air. The air stopped and it was hard to breathe. The sight stopped and it was hard to see, even with his good eye. Loki didn't escape the vault.

Thor looked at his hands. The blood was still red there under his nails.

There were no portals in the vault.

Thor heard what Heimdall said, he did. But even as the valkyrie shook him to get his attention, Thor couldn't get rid of something else that the gatekeeper has said.

"I sent him to the vault."

Yes. That. That was what he couldn't get rid of. Loki was not here. Of course he wasn't. He was across the galaxy now.

Only he wasn't.

He was in the vault when Asgard burned. When it exploded. Fell into utter ruin. In the vault where he sent Loki. His brother.

"I sent him to the vault."

And Loki is so so smart, it sometimes drew Thor mad. So clever. He must have known there were no portals. And Loki still went. Why? Because Thor told him to.

His eye burned, Thor didn't know why it did so spontaneously now. His eye burned and his head swam. Why was it so bright?

He heard his name being called but the Norns must have heard him and took the light away, with them. And it was finally blessedly dark.

~o~0~o~

He called for someone. Who was it? He could swear he saw his old man before it became unbearable. What was Odin doing, appearing before him? Wasn't he dead? Was he - Loki - dead? Why must it hurt so if he were dead? Cruel.

But he called... Ah. Heimdall. Could have the gatekeeper saved him? Loki helped. Saved them all...

And they left. Left him there. It was his ship and they have gone without him... Typical. Like any thing going wrong in his life, he was left alone. But Heimdall... Oh. Oh, right. Heimdall couldn't summon the Bifrost. Stupid. Oh how silly. Sorry, gatekeeper. My poor Loki bad. Heimdall couldn't have helped. Saved him. He was meant to die there, with Asgard. Strange, he didn't hesitate... Oh, of course he did. Loki, don't lie to yourself. You were terrified.

But still. You went. Because?

Because his oafish brother willed it.

No one would have come for him.

And of course. Loki must do everything by himself. Alone.

That was why he remembered a way he showed two stupid jotuns a lifetime ago.

That was why his charred back got mercy in the snows of Jotunheim.

Funny. A burned Jotun. Excellent joke. He liked it.

He would just lie there, in the snow. Until he died or survived. He would find out nonetheless what fate awaited him.

But for now he would sleep.

~o~0~o~

 


	7. Chapter 7

~ VII ~

~o~0~o~

 

Loki, Val and Bruce couldn't make the Avengers listen.

Loki sighed in defeat. It was pointless.

The Aesir looked at him with hope but even they suspected something was wrong. Loki closed his eyes.

"People of Adgard. We have all endured much. But it seems that we will have to endure a little more. Midgard denied the help we asked of them, closed the gates of sanctuary before us. Mortals are ever fickle and diverged between themselves. I can only say - it doesn't matter. Hear me, citizens. I plead with you to have patience of little bit longer. I will take us all to Vanaheim as Midgard said no to Thor’s people. I will- the magic I think to perform is unstable and... I will not be able to accompany you- "

" My prince! "

" Prince Loki, no! "

" But how could we-"

" Peace. The Valkyrie that fought with my brother and I is capable of keeping you safe. Trust in her as I do and Thor does. Your king will be with you shortly. Asgard as a place may be destroyed, but Asgard as people lives. So let it prosper. I pray the Norns smile upon you. Fare thee well. "

 

" You kissed me. "

" For luck, Lackey.

"To be kissed by a Valkyrie - my fan boy's heart sings with joy. Just don't kiss Thor, if only in this I wish to be unique."

"You got it, Highness. Just don't... Don't die. There have been enough deaths already. Hela has got enough...”

" Will you miss me then?"

" Fuck off, Odinsson.

"Bruce. I bid you fare well and ask you that she has not drunk herself to death. And... Look out for Thor’s people, if it is not much trouble.”

" Um... Loki I... I don't understand a thing! You - you are gonna what? Open a portal? Is it safe? Will YOU be safe? Are you... Oh. No no no. Thor NEEDS you! You can't just-“

" Of course I can. I do what I want. Just don't abandon him. He has got enough as it is. You are a good friend to him.”

“We may be good friends but you are his brother! Loki!”

“Midgard denied us. I need to keep you all safe. Enough. Go. I need to prepare.”

“Loki... I don’t wanna…”

“Go. Tell Thor... um.”

“He knows. But I will tell him. And... Thank you. You are one strange cookie.”

“I don't need to remind you to be careful with Hulk. There are children present.”

“Wow… Ah. You got it. Thanks.”

“Good. Now go before I lose my temper and decide that Grandmaster is not so bad after all to be around.”

“Yeah, Sakaar is just your place.”

“Chaos. Delightful.”

“Bye, Prince Loki Odinsson. May the Norns smile upon you.”

 

Loki performed magic. Asgardians vanished in blue light. Loki collapsed. Strange appeared and whisked him away.

 

Thor came with the Guardians. He was enraged and hurt. He asked where Loki was now and his people. They told him. Thor felt his heart shatter. Loki was the only family he has left. Loki’s power was great, but even it could give up. Thor dreaded if his brother sacrificed his life for their people. Not because it was a trick but because he had no choice. Because Thor’s friends abandoned him in a time of need. Thor never felt so alone.

"Thor, could you please tell us what the hell is going on!”

"Loki has told you. I wish not to speak with you. Your betrayal is hard to forgive. And NOW that I know what it may have cost - me and my people! - I am leaving. Loki is twice the savior of Asgard and may be dead because of my mistaken trust in you. But no more. Beware mortals, the menace comes the realms had seen once and barely survived. I will ask other realms for help for but only united we can hope to overcome it. Midgard showed me that it is not ready, nor it is kind. You may hear from me but I will not make a mistake of calling you friends any longer. Good bye.”

 

Strange takes Thor and shows him Loki. Thor is beyond happy until he sees his brother still and frail. With Strange help they are sent to Vanaheim.

 


	8. Chapter 8

~ VIII ~

A/N: Some angsty angst. Sorry, folks - Thor is not very great here.

The Avengers go to Nidavellir. Loki & Tony friendship.

Enjoy!

~o~0~o~

“Hey, a question? Why is there not a place for the king’s brother? Is royalty not sitting together or something?”

“The Jotun filth will not darken our home! Its place is out there, not here.”

“... Right. Yep. Thanks. Good talk.”  

 

“You hear that creature? No abomination is welcome in our golden halls!” 

 

Tony was almost on his way out of the grand doors, when he slowly came to a stop. Something in his chest clenched at the sight of Loki standing in the shadows, alone and silent, when his brother, and others were inside, celebrating. The loudest laughs were heard even from here. And Thor - had he simply allowed it? What a load of crap. 

Tony knew he was a dumbass. He was going to regret it. But what the hell! He liked Loki. It was so difficult to find a kindred soul nowadays!

As Loki’s status was redefined from an enemy to ally (and in Tony’s book from shit- _really_ -guys? to well-aren’t-you-crazy-I-like-it), the trickster showed everyone that he was more than a villain. Still an asshole, but interesting. And Tony Stark was curious. And so after a number of projects, magic talks, evening drinks and real talks about their lives later here Tony Stark was. Leaving a cool party full of booze and food and friends and _armor engineering_ on a freaking alien planet for Loki. Because Loki wasn’t there and nobody seemed to notice this other than him.

Tony sighed and walked back to the ship.

“Forgot something good sir?” The dwarf guard asked pleasantly. Stark felt nauseated from the striking difference between how they addressed him and how just a moment ago some other dwarf addressed Loki.

“No, I'm good. Just wanted to keep my friend company, seeing as he is not allowed in because of some... rules?”

“Oh, leave it. Better come inside, drink, be merry. I'm sure you'll hear a great tale of that over there. Of how my cousins sewed its mouth with a cord. A truly glorious tale!”

Stark reeled hearing it. Not thinking twice he rushed at Loki's side and only then let himself take a deep breath. And paused.

While Loki may have looked all right, Tony was still a genius. And what he saw gave him chills, taking into account that he was already shaken.

Loki was standing perfectly still, his eyes looking ahead. However, while silent, his breathing was rushed, as if he was suffocating. Suffering. If Tony didn't know better, he would say that Loki was a hair's breadth from keening. He had a panic attack. But that way so no one ever recognized it. It was likely a deep-rooted trauma, untreated and left festering. But Loki... he...

For how long he was hiding it? Did anybody even know about this? WHY WAS NOBODY HERE FOR HIM?!

“Hey. Loki? Come with me, yes? Please I need some help. It's really important. Loki. You coming?”

Tony swallowed seeing as Loki with titanium effort took a breath to calm himself. He blinked slowly and made himself relax. Forcefully. Then he turned to Tony with a raised brow.

“What is it, Stark?”

“Um. Yeah, let us go inside. I've got it there.”

“... Alright. Lead the way.”

Jesus. What a mess. 

~o~0~o~ 

“As I found out much later, they found out the secret of my parentage and threatened to tell everyone. Back then I couldn’t… _comprehend_ the reason for their behavior, their hatred for me. They said I was a… coldhearted filthy liar. I didn’t know what to think, I was ignorant of why I was despised on sight. It was so confusing. Back then… I was so scared. I just wanted to go home.

“Anyway. Odin couldn't have his authority questioned. They manipulated the events that way so it somehow resulted in everything becoming _my_ fault. And… and so Odin let them do as they please. So that the truth about the second prince being a Jotun would stay hidden. Instead there will be a truth of arrogant liar prince tricking the honorable dwarf people and being rightly punished for it will prevail.”

_“…my cousins sewed its mouth with a cord. A truly glorious tale!”_

“I have never got an opportunity to ask Odin _why_. When we came back, he ignored me as I healed. And later he was always so angry at me. I surrendered to the lie that yes, of course - it was Loki’s fault. But deep inside I _knew_ the truth. I did nothing wrong. But I also understood _my place_ in the royal family. And never forgot it since.”

Just… God. Dammit.

“But... How could Thor-“

“He was the one to hold me down. It was... was a fine tale told in the halls of drinking in Asgard. The... people called Thor’s place, a place of honor. H-he gladly ap-approved.”

“... Shit. How old were you?”

“Does... Does it matter? If I was a child then, what does it matter? If it was to happen to me now, it would have hurt the same. Like it hurts now. Only Thor brought… _new friends_ this time.”

“Why _did_ Thor bring you here now? He, he knows, right? So how could he...”

“... I don't know.” 

~o~0~o~ 

“Thor you are my friend. But right now you are a piece of shit in my eyes!”

“Stark?”

“How could you bring your brother here? No, Steve, I will hiss and shout all I please! Don’t tell me to calm down! Did you forget what happened to him, Thor? Did you?!”

“Oh, Stark. It was a long time ago.”

“SO WHAT? Have you asked him if he is fine with it?”

“There is no need for such–“

“Did you not fucking notice that he wasn't there with you? Do you even care that he spent the whole time waiting for you, for all of you, outside?”

“Outside..?”

“Those fuckers didn't let him in, damn it!”

“It is their right.”

“Their... right? Their right?!”

“Loki wronged them, they have a right to ban him from their lands. I don't see what the fuss is about, Stark.”

“You... Oh. I see. I... I have no words. Yeah. No. Oh God...”

“Tony?”

“Whatever. I'm going out.”

“Tony, wait! What is it all about?” Tony ignored Steve's cry.

Fuck this shit. He will ask if Loki is okay if Tony reveals the truth to the oblivious idiot. And if yes (he hoped Loki will agree, for his own sake), Tony will do Loki’s case justice. Tony would do it right. Loki deserved that his family would not dismiss his pain, that finally, after so much time, it would be recognized. And, perhaps, finally healed. 


	9. Chapter 9

~ IX ~

~o~0~o~

Thor noticed that while Loki has always been silent while he slept, now there was some disturbing wheeze from him, every time he took a deep breath.

Only much later he found out that it was the wound in his chest Loki took in the battle with the elves that caused it. The wound Thor believed Loki faked to escape. 

~o~0~o~

Loki often sat in front of the illuminator and watched the stars. Nothing has changed. Everyone greeted Thor as if he was their _everything_.

 _Your Majesty!_ So happy. So adoring.

That could not be said about Loki. Even if they didn’t scoff at him, talking behind his back, the people ignored the Loki's presence entirely. Like he was invisible. Nothing.

But he thought...

Loki truly hoped, he really believed that things would change.

Wishful thinking.  

~o~0~o~

“Do you understand me, Loki?” Thor repeats, pulling from the hug but still keeping his hands on Loki’s shoulders. The look in his eye is piercing. “You are my brother and my advisor and I need you by my side. I need you here with me.”

Loki couldn’t look away. It was really happening. His private, quiet prayers gotten answered. Loki didn’t dare to assume, not after that catastrophic talk in the elevator on Sakaar. But thank the Norns – Thor lied then. The trickster got tricked and Thor _lied_. He needed Loki after all. Not everything was lost between them. That was exactly what he wanted to hear from Thor. And he was happy.  

~o~0~o~

Too bad it was just a dream. 

~o~0~o~

Loki jerked awake and couldn't stop gasping. A moment too late, he realized that it was not gasping, but the sobs that tore his chest inside out.

Not for the first time Loki has had a dream, a very realistic dream (they all were deceivingly realistic), where he was cared for. _He was cared for_.

His words were taken into account, his deeds acknowledged.

His family asked after him. His brother sought his presence and advice.

His subjects respected him and treated him as it was ought of his status as a prince.

His friends, _his very own friends_ , called after him when he was free.

His skin didn't frighten him, instead being of great help to the citizens in the need of it.

He was doing his duty and was coming back to his rooms with the feeling of contentedness. Happily accepting to dine with his parents in the garden under the skies of Asgard on a warm evening. 

 

But it was... just... a dream.

A dream.

Things he was craving for his whole life lined in a perfect play. An ideal life.

Loki collapsed back and curled into a tight ball under a light blanket.

What a cruel dream. 

Every day waking up, Loki was devastated. These dreams hurt, hurt like nothing else. Even the torture he endured was kinder in a sense – because it was just pain. And the pain goes away eventually.

It was worse. Because every day - for just a moment - Loki felt what a dream-he felt. For this feeling alone, Loki would curse the Norns for letting him feel it just to snatch him back to his reality. When all those things, things that could have been true, _they could, could_! - were fake. Unreal. Impossible for him to have.

Loki cried. And he cried harder, knowing that no one could see him, or care to come check, because that was the truth of it all.

Parents, brother, friends and subjects. He has never had any.

He was alone as he always was.

And nothing would change that.

Only in his dreams. 

~o~0~o~

Loki started to sleep more, often not having enough strength to face the real world when the dream one was so nice.

But he had to. Thor would not hesitate to give him trouble for not sitting in the meetings where all his words were dismissed and he was simply walked over.

After some trying days, were it the Valkyrie degrading him incessantly of the humans scowling at him in uneasy and disgust, or Thor falling back into his habits of treating him like shit, Loki would retire early just so he could go back to his dreams quicker.

Loki gave in in lying to himself that there was something worth living for in the real world.

Besides, he couldn't lie to himself further that he wouldn't be happy to die in his sleep. If only to Valhalla to greet him back as an old friend.

Recently Loki stopped waking up with tear tracks on his cheeks. For some time now, he has accepted the thing that was happening to him. He knew that these dreams were unnatural; maybe it was even magic in action (whose he didn’t have a clue). Loki didn’t really care.

Sometimes the visions he dreamed about have helped to go about his days.

And that was a relief. 

~o~0~o~

“I don't know if you noticed but your brother must be plotting something.”

“What do you mean?”

“I haven't seen him around much, you know? And that is the cause for concern.”

“You think?.. Hmm. I haven't seen him either.”

“I just know it, you know! You must be careful. Stay alert.”

“Loki is my brother! And there is no proof he plots any misdeed!”

“Yeah, of course. Just a warning. Its Loki after all.” 

~o~0~o~

“Loki? Loki!”

“Thor?... Oh. Sorry. I just...”

“… Overslept?”

“Um, yes. Never mind. What is it brother? How can I help?”

Strange wording, Thor thought. Strange everyhting. Something was wrong with Loki. He looked… fragile. Thor hoped Loki was not getting ill. After everything that happened to them, Thor would not lose anyone. Especially not his brother. 

~o~0~o~

The dream where he spent all day with Odin was the hardest to forget. The hardest to accept. Because no matter how he tried, Loki couldn't remember when Odin was interested in anything Loki was doing. Mostly Odin just wasn't there. The old man's eye always evaded his second son, dismissing his existence to the likes of anything else.

Now the old man was interested, even amused. Fond of his son. Odin took his time to listen to his grievances, his dreams, his troubles. Shared his own. Odin was a father Loki always wanted. Always needed.

Loki hoped that this dream would come to him again tonight.

 ~o~0~o~

 


	10. Chapter 10

~ IX.II ~

~o~0~o~

A/N: Following your requests, I decided to continue it a bit. Thank you for the lovely comments! ♥

~o~0~o~

One day the stress became too much, and Loki realized that he could not do it anymore. He struggles with himself, he has struggled his whole life with his dark thoughts, but recently he just couldn't anymore. He was tired of fighting in a war in which he could not win.

Trying not to bring attention to himself, but not caring much if the others saw him trembling, Loki run to his secluded rooms. Opening the locker, the god took out the sleeping pills. He asquired them not long ago from Bruce, who didn't ask any questions, just silently provided the pills. He must have understood that Loki needed them. It was embarrassing, truly, but Bruce did not show he cared one bit.

Ever since they came to Midgard, Bruce became distant. Having spent so much time on the ship, Loki was disappointed that Banner now ignored him. Loki thought they have found some middle ground, forgetting for a time that once they were enemies. Instead, they shared time by talking and studying things – from the ship constructions to magic theories (Bruce studying, Loki schooling and monitoring). The mortal seemed interested, curios, and even friendly. But. Loki had to admit, he wasn’t surprised when Bruce Banner changed after coming home, on Earth. Loki knew it will be like that – that Bruce would meet his friends and forget about the trickster god. That he wouldn’t acknowledge him if there was someone from the Avengers present. Nothing new, after all. Loki was cut out, whereas the relationship with Thor only got stronger. And of course, the Valkyrie. Even though no one knew who she was, what she did for a living not so long ago, everyone welcomed her, because she was Thor’s friend.

Loki knew his musings were pointless and nothing would change because of his moping, but he was hurt. A little. No one had to know, but he won’t lie to himself at least.

Loki took the pills, and to make sure that no one interrupted his dreams (he was not sure anyone would bother, just to be on the safe side), Loki spelled the pills for them to work longer and to put him more deeply into sleep.

Loki no longer cared for how long he would sleep. He just surrendered to the blissful fantasy. For him it was his own Walhalla.

But even if Loki no longer cared that his life was in danger after experimenting on the medication, someone else did.

~o~0~o~

Having not seen his brother for so long, nor hear from him, Thor worried. He was busy and the thoughts of Loki slipped his mind often, but one day enough was enough.

Thor asked after Loki, but no one has seen him.

It was midday when he went to his brother's room.

Having heard nothing after his knocking, Thor sighed, then entered the small room and… gone still.

It was so startling to see Loki laying on the bed, his body relaxed and face serene. His expression was so peaceful Thor regretted waking him up. But they really needed to talk. It was long overdue.

As he quietly sat on the bed, Thor couldn’t remember the last time he had seen his brother sleeping. On the ship Loki’s bed was on the other side of the hall, separate from those Thor placed in his council – Heimdal, Valkyrie, Korg, Bruce.

The brothers became strangers long before his coronation. Thor now started to realize just how much he neglected to even give his brother a courtesy of saying goodnight even once these last… months. Years. Long long years…

Thor was surprised Loki didn't wake up instantly when Thor only came in the room. Loki was always a light sleeper and any noise would rouse him. Now Loki didn't even stir.

~o~0~o~

Loki would not wake.

No matter how desperately Thor tried, his brother remained listless. The king shook Loki, spoke to him, pleaded with him – all pointless. Loki’s head would loll to the side, his breathing too deep and heartbeat slow.

Here and now Thor became scared.

Shouting for Bruce, they both wheeled Loki to the hospital where Bruce declared grimly that Loki was in a coma. And the doctor was unable to do anything about it.

By the evening, Thor was beyond himself with worry and fear. It was not like Loki to fall for some illness so easily. There must be something else in play.

Thor needed to know. He went to Heimdal, but the gatekeeper didn't see Loki. No one had seen Loki other than on the group meetings, which he visited less and less.

Desperate, when Loki was senseless for two days already and still no answers, Thor investigated further by going against his promise and watching the videos from Loki’s room (the campus was full of cameras for security purposes – and everyone agreed, assured by knowing only few in Asgard had the tapes, no others and definitely no humans).

And Thor saw something that shook him.

So often, his brother would go to sleep and then jerk away from sleep and break down in tears. His brother cried so...

It happened time and again and Thors heart clenched in pain seeing his brother weeping.

But later Loki became calmer. Right until his behavior changed completely and every day Loki rose with a little smile on his face.

It was dumbfounding how much Loki slept. And if only it supposed to make Loki strong and healthy, but no. Loki was only becoming weaker and paler, his movements sluggish and stance exhausted.

More Loki slept, more he weakened.

And Thor made it his mission to find out the reason for Loki's behavior.

~o~0~o~

He would prefer never to resort to it, but it was his last option. But while sitting by Loki's bedside Thor wowed to his sleeping brother that he will make it right by him.

Thor asked Strange for help.

In the end, a wizard found out the truth. He told Thor that Loki's magic was damaged, with scars if he could say so. Loki must have strained it and pushed and pushed, an environment and stress and pains making the magic sick. But the magic was sentient. It cared for its master and to help Loki forget the hurts, the struggle and stress; it gave Loki respite in the form of dreams. Happy dreams, fabricated from memory, because Loki's mental health for the past several years took too much blows.

Too much pain and too little comfort.

So the magic came up with a plan. To help the master, distract him, while trying to heal itself.

However, while Loki became calmer, it took too much of the god’s energy to spend on healing. The more he slept the more strength it took. It turned out that Loki cornered himself, like the snake devouring its own tail.

Strange said he could break this circle. Thor was so relieved he thought that he might even hug the arrogant bastard. The god just could no longer look at how his younger brother wasted away.

~o~0~o~

When Loki eventually woke up, he realized with surprise, that something in real world was still worth living for. His brother got sure of it.

~o~0~o~

A/N: I hope you liked it :)


	11. Chapter 11

~ X ~

~o~0~o~

Thor finds out that Loki lives in the house in Vanaheim. With a... with a family. Unknown woman - a rare beauty - and a boy. Impossible, because it couldn't be... Loki's son?   
Its Fenrir! But how? And why isn't he still a beastly wolf? Questions with no answers.   
Loki stands from the bed but takes a cane. A cane? Thor sees that Loki's right lower leg up to his knee is hidden beneath the tight black cloth.

~o~0~o~

"Darling, look at me. Don't ever think yourself guilty for this. Never. It is not your fault, my son. It is Odin's. He is responsible for what happened to me, not you, never you. Please believe me, my sweet."  
"But... But I... " Fenrir sniffed as his eyes welled with tears.   
Loki knelt on both legs with as little wince as he could muster and took his son in the embrace, hugging him tightly and protectively.  
"You couldn't control your actions. It was rage and fear that drove you, emotions spelled at you by Odin. You would never have done this, hurt me, knowing it was me, wouldn't you?" Loki whispered.  
"Father, never! I would never-"  
"I know. I know, dear. So please I beg you, don't darken your soul with this. It was never yours to shoulder. I don't blame you. I love you."   
"I-I love you too, daddy, so so much. Please don't ..."  
"Shhh... I'm here. I'm here. I love you, my son. There is nothing I wouldn't do for your happiness. You are my greatest treasure. You and your siblings."   
"And Sigyn?" Fenrir smiled cheekily, tears still glittering on reddened cheeks.   
"Yes. And my Sigyn. My family. "

"But you are limping. And walk with that..."- the boy pointed helplessly at the golden cane. Loki smirked.  
"You don't fancy myself with a cane? I though it looks rather dashing, hm?"  
"You are dashing even without it, my husband." Sigyn strolled into the room. Loki smiled broadly. Fenrir did it more shyly.   
"See? I'm pretty." Loki pulled his son at his side, the child burying his face in Loki's good leg.   
"Why don't we go out for a walk?"   
"But father-"  
"Needs his exercises, so it would be perfect. Go on, sweetling. Get dressed. I bet I will be quicker than you".  
Fenrir brightened up at the challenge. He leaped to the doors, until suddenly halting. Loki frowned in concern that smoothed into a soft smile as his son turned around and barreled right into him, almost throwing Loki from his feet. Fenrir was clinging to him for dear life, to which Loki crouched down to take his son in his hands and shower him with kisses that weren't avoided but on the contrary - almost desperately sought. Loki felt Sigyn lean her cheek to his back, sneaking her hand over his slim waist.   
"I love you daddy."   
"I love you more." Fenrir giggled and buried his nose in Loki's neck. The god only hugged his son closer, relishing the happy moment. He felt Sigyn kiss his shoulder from behind and turned a little so he could face her. Her light grey eyes shone with quiet happiness as well, So Loki didn't hesitate to lean down and capture her lips in a sweet kiss.   
That until Fenrir whined to be put down so he wouldn't be in the middle of the grown ups doing gross things. Those grown ups only smiled in the kiss and relented, leaving the boy to jump on the ground and run to his room to get dressed. They were not finished though.

~o~0~o~

Fenrir lashed out in madness when the magic that held him in animal's form, was released by Loki, and bit his father's leg, almost tearing it off. Loki howled, struggling against the massive teeth buried in his flesh, knowing it was a curse of breaking a spell before it could be finished. Fenrir dragged Loki who was screaming in agony across the ground, the blood painting everything red. With the last of strength Loki gathered his magic and blasted his son in the nose, distracting him for long enough so the wolf released Loki's leg, still painfully dragging the teeth on the pale skin, leaving long gashes before shrinking away. On the brink of losing his consciousness from the pain and shock, Loki knew there wouldn't be another chance, so he concentrated as much as he was able to break a spell Odin put on his son's form to stop the curse. Just as Fenrir opened his huge mouth to bestow a final killing blow, Loki's spell struck him. The once wolf cried and whined, before stilling. Through the red fog Loki watched his son convulsing, moaning, then shrinking in size until in the place of the giant wolf lay a little shivering child, blinking his huge green eyes, the crown of fluffy curly black locks shaking in confusion. Loki felt his heart swell with love, seeing his son, his boy, his dear child back in his born form, long unused but never forgotten by his father.   
Loki felt his eyes closing, his body in too much pain and faint from the bloodloss. He hated that he would have to leave his son now when he needed him most, had to reassure, to calm him - Fenrir would realize that the blood on him was Loki's, his father, he would realize what he has done. And Loki wouldn't be there to hold him, hug him, kiss him, tell him it wasn’t his fault, never his. He wished he would stay conscious to be with the being he loved so much it hurt, after so much time passed to be finally reunited but for him to pass out. A thought flickered in Loki's mind that he could not indeed survive - Fenrir's bite could easily end him - but Loki hadn't lingered on it. The last thing he saw was a lovely adorable face of his son he so loved, free and unbound. Loki closed his eyes).

Fenrir blinked. He looked down and gasped. For so long he was a wolf that it was unusual to feel his hands now, his legs, not have tail or fangs. But that registered only briefly until he saw something that horrified him. His father was lying on the ground. Unmoving. Bleeding!  
Leaping to his feet, stumbling from having his legs so long unused, Fenrir fell beside his daddy. He remembered seeing him, he thought it was another dream, like so many before when he thought he was going mad. He didn't understand much, only glimpses. That he was a wolf and mean people - Aesir - bound him here he didn't know why. His father's shouts and tears, his cries. Since then was all a blur.   
But any child of Loki was smart. Raising his hand to touch his daddy's cheek - he missed him so much, waited for him, hoped to see him - Fenrir saw his hands coated in blood. Then with a horror the boy felt something drip from his chin and cried in terror. It was his father's blood. Looking at the bloody mess that was left instead of Loki's leg, Fenrir screamed. He did this! He hurt father, he killed him...  
He killed him...  
No! No, no, no! Please!  
"Father! Please father... Please wake up! I'm so sorry! Please, I'm sorry!  Don't be dead, no, no, no..."  
His daddy wasn't reacting. Fenrir felt the emotions overwhelm him. So much happened and daddy won't wake... He killed him... Please no...

Without help his father would die. He needed to find help. Anywhere, anyhow. His father saved him, he would do the same.   
And then... then maybe father wouldn't be mad... maybe (Fenrir sniffed pathetically) maybe father would even forgive him one day...   


~o~0~o~


	12. Chapter 12

~ XI ~

~o~0~o~

Thor and his friends played a joke on Loki making him believe all day that he was their friend and his any need mattered to the group. Loki asked to go to the forest to play and they joyfully agreed. Loki was happy like he never was before: for the first time in his life he had actual friends that 'listened' to him, his brother patted him on a shoulder and smiled at him, Sif was not cruel but playful and kind. Loki thought that he couldn't be happier.

That was until suddenly right out of the blue Volstagg came to him, smiled in his face and showed him painfully in the chest. Loki cried out in shock and fell back, desperately trying to hold onto something. He helplessly saw Thor - his brother - smirking as Loki fell and fell and fell until he couldn't beat back a cry of pain as his back collided with the ground. Blinking up tears of pain and shock Loki realized that the children pushed him to the hole in the ground, they... they have purposely lead him to this place and were now laughing hysterically above. Numb from shock Loki couldn't get away from the leaves and dirt that fell on his head as the boys showed it down the hole. His eyes burned not only from the sand in them.

Loki froze when he heard Sif as she started to pride herself that she was the best today in impersonating freak's friend. Thor roared with laughter saying that everyone was on the top today, seeing as his little kid brother was completely oblivious.

Loki was completely frozen in spot after hearing Thor reveal the cruelest thing they ever did to him... made him believe he was welcome in their midst. Loki couldn't even cry because tears were not coming, so great was his shock. He could only blink stupidly at the four visible heads from high above him, that enjoyed the trick they had played on him. His mind froze when he heard words like 'so pathetic', or 'did you see his face', or 'good job my friends'. So Thor was all along with the plan... Loki still couldn't make himself utter a sound when he noticed that the voices were getting far from the place they pushed him to, which meant they intended to leave him here, buried alive in some cave from which he saw no exit. Only tears dripped on the dirty cheeks when he stayed alone in silence. They left him here... And walked away... Left him alone...  
For a long time Loki sat with his back leaned on a grainy cold stone, looking in front of himself. Shock resulted in shivering that wasn't going away. To add to this how the sun begun to settle and the temperature quickly lowered so the air puffed before Loki's lips in smoke.

His back was still hurting, maybe he broke something when he fell, Loki didn't know. Couldn't check.

He wanted mother. Where was she?

And only on this thought Loki started to cry. But still silently, not daring to make a noise, because Loki was always a clever child and he read how in the forests any sound could summon some wild animal. And trapped like he was, with no way out would result in his... in his death.

Loki let out a sob and curled further in on himself, starting to feel his body begin to freeze - it was a night already. But he cried, not because he was afraid - and he was, very - he cried because he suddenly realized that indeed it was night. Which meant for hours nobody had remembered him, nor sought him out. Nobody cared that he was not back home with Thor. Thor... Knives stabbed Loki's already bleeding heart anew as he recalled his own brother's glee at Loki's pain and shock of betrayal. Thor betrayed him in the worst way possible, knowing that he tried so much for someone to notice him, wanted others to play with him, to seek him out, to 'see' him. Thor used his vulnerability and spat it right back in his face. It broke Loki's heart.

But the thing that shattered the remaining hope in his heart was the fact that no one was looking for him. He heard no guards calling his name, not his parents' frantic cries for their son, nothing. All Loki heard was silence.

Apparently nobody even noticed that he was absent from dinner - Thor must have taken all father's attention with his tales of bravery and strength, his mother would definitely beam at her perfect son with pride... and no one would stop to ask where their second son was.

Because it was definitely true seeing as no one was coming. And it meant he would be buried here until someone would luckily stumble on this quite unnoticeable place or some wild beast killed him.

Loki was trapped. And he could do nothing to save himself, hurt, starving, freezing and completely helpless here alone, abandoned and unneeded by anyone he thought cared for him.

The ground he lay on was like ice, little dust fell on his head every time the wind growled high above him. Loki stopped shivering as he wasn't  even able to move anymore - after trying to climb from the tomb and failing every time, getting his hands scraped and cut to blood, Loki with a chilling thought got it - he couldn't get out. And if the night would become even colder for a bit, he could as well freeze to death.

But after such an emotional breakdown the death for the first time in his short life wasn't so frightening that should have scared him to think about it in so young an age but it strangely didn't. Loki didn't care anymore as he vaguely felt how his heart begun to beat slower and his breaths became deeper.

No thoughts were present in his head aside from one: his brother manipulated with his sacred feelings, let his cruel friends deceive him into believing that he actually mattered, Thor pushed him literally to his doom and his parents were not coming because they ignored or neglected to notice his absence. Not one soul in Asgard was thinking of him and that was killing him better than cold. Heimdall must have thought Loki not worth mentioning, and he clearly saw all...

Just as Loki's eyes begun to close in so much needed sleep, the boy heard someone growl. Blinking in the darkened cave and with some difficulty turning his gaze up the sky with his frozen body Loki guessed he hallucinated the sound and sighed in resignation.

But no. Someone cursed. And the loud bang of something falling to the ground. A man? Whining noise. A man on a horse? Rescue?

But what if he was dreaming it? Then he could call more danger from wilds of this forest then...

No. It was a man. Maybe he would save him? Loki let out a sob when he imagined the man looking at the hole and turning around, dismissing him.

'Please help...'

As the angry rambling continued, Loki realized his voice was unheard in this weather and from this height.

'Help.'

'Did you hear something, Diri? Or am I too drunk?'

'Please...' Loki rasped, his throat hurt.

'What in Hel?’

~.~.~

'Hang on in there, boy! Be brave just for a little more, kid, I'm coming!'

'...thank you...' As if the simple fact that someone was coming for him, took all the strengths Loki had in him for fighting. The relief and purest gratitude was so strong that Loki couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. He was so tired. He just wanted to sleep knowing that at least one stranger came for him.

'Hey!  Keep talking all right? Kid? Hey, don't fall asleep!'

~.~.~

  
'Oh goodness, you are like ice! Norns have mercy, please don't die on me, boy! Here, this will warm you up.'

  
'Drink it, come now. I don't care if you are too young, you need to warm up inside as well as outside. Oh, please, please...'

  
'Do I know you? You look familiar...'

  
'How did you end up here, you foolish boy? You would have died if I wasn't here- Shh... Don't worry. Shh... You are safe now... You are safe.'

~.~.~

  
Loki woke up feeling very warm yet very comfortable. He felt so good that be wanted immediately to go back to sleep. Only the slight tingling in his stiff fingers let him know that something was wrong.  
The tips of his fingers were blue. And with it everything rushed back at Loki at once.

~o~0~o~

A/N: This story could continue in various ways. One of them could be that eventually Loki will be back to the palace, Thor would say sorry, his parents would say that they were just kids and kids do stupid things. Loki would have to accept it and go on. But he will never forget.

Another way of story to go is that the good man takes Loki with him to his home. Later he will find out that the boy is actually a Prince of Asgard and would be shocked, but Loki would beg him to not tell anybody and _please please can he stay with him_? The man – lets say Björg – would be at a crossroads. Because it was treason to keep the prince from his family. But seeing as no one was coming for him – and at the town the people didn’t talk a thing about the kidnapping, Björg would hesitate. And when the boy healed after the fall and frostbite, the man started to really care about the lad. After some rough night of crying, Björg finally heard what happened. And strangely, he himself no longer wanted to give Loki away. There was a question of Heimdal, but Loki finds out that somehow he can keep his presence hidden from him. At first, he thought that was why no one came, but from Björg’s story – no one was looking in the first place.

They live in a small house, after what – Björg was a merchant – they leave to Vanaheim. Loki is all too glad to leave Asgard behind.

After three days passed, Thor tried to find Loki. But coming back to the cave he found it empty. Then he started to become scared. To tell his parents what he has done was unthinkable. After two more days and no word of Loki, Thor realizes that he would have to tell the truth. He consults with his friends, but they too are scared and strongly discourage him from this, because they, too, will suffer. Thor already lied that Loki was visiting one of his friends so that he wasn’t home at dinners. His parents agreed it was good for Loki to have such friends.

Eventually after two weeks, Thor confesses.

Loki though is no longer on Asgard.

(I made myself cry while writing it, so I am sorry).

Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Angst, angst, angst. AU of Ragnarok.

Enjoy! 

~ XII ~ 

~o~0~o~ 

He must have been tired. His wounds, that he got from Hela, must have been more serious than he thought. He should have been more alert.

If he were, then he wouldn’t have been pressed face down to the ground, his hands bound by strong manacles.

Oh, he struggled. When the creatures – Scrulls (and what were they doing on this exact planet?) – sat him down and pressed some _thing_ to his temple, Thor threw all his remaining strength to push it away, because they were in his head! They watched how he- no! – they saw Asgard vessel, the people, Heimdall! Lok-

“Heimdall!”

His scream was struck by a well-aimed blow to the jaw. No, please, gatekeeper, see me, they know about Asgard, they know about the ship and where it is going, they know about his brother and-

No! For some foul reason they have focused on Loki and it was not good.

Loki was always near him on the ship, second in command, even if they have not discussed any positions yet, Loki used magic, he was there for the negotiations on a myriad travels on planets…

Thor felt himself freeze. They wouldn’t…

For all the years Thor was alive, he saw many things. Living the life in the court taught him that there were always some plots of undermining the royal family of one of the greatest realms. Thor and Loki Odinsons were always in the danger of an assassination. The brothers were not naïve and always were careful even on the friendly visits to their allies.

No matter if they fought with each other, they stood side by side if there was a danger from others. They protected each other.

That was why Thor felt himself howl in horror as one of the Scrulls shifted into Thor himself and left for the ship.

Loki would not expect Thor to hurt him – not really. Loki will be caught off guard.

“NO! _Please_!”

~o~0~o~ 

The imposter lured Loki away, and while Thor was made to watch, attacked his brother and left him to death.  

~o~0~o~ 

The planet was nothing special, Loki thought as he walked beside Thor. He has already negotiated the provision and supplies from the traders. The Valkyrie was loading everything on the ship right this moment.

Why Thor was so adamant of speaking to him, Loki hadn’t a clue. Just as he didn’t know what was so important that they had to walk so far away from the ship. It cannot be because of the view of the black rocks, can it?

Looking at these rocks brought up the memories of Svartalfheim and Loki had no wish to remember that horrid place. He hoped they would leave soon.

“All right, brother. What is it?”

Thor, who walked all this time in silence and was visibly tense, suddenly turned on Loki and struck him hard in the stomach. Shocked and winded, Loki doubled over and tried to stagger away. But he wasn't quick enough. Thor went after him and before Loki knew it, he was grabbed by the neck and slammed into the ground.

Loki couldn't draw a breath, the grip on his neck crushing.

"Th..thor..."

Loki was in a panic, he could not breathe. Thor was going to kill him! Why! What in Hel… What happened?!

"Brother..."

Thor let him go. Loki trembled from the sheer surrealism of what was happening. His neck was tender and hurting so much. Just as he raised his eyes to look at Thor, he gasped. In the moment after Thor let him go, his... brother still?... pulled a knife from his vembraces and stabbed him in the stomach. Loki could only watch wide eyed in Thor’s indifferent face as he pulled the knife aside, gutting him, prolonging the agony.

He was sleeping. It was a nightmare. He had those involving Thor sometimes, but it has never felt so real. Thor... Why?

Struggling against the pain, Loki fearfully watched as Thor stood. Loki coughed and coughed his wound like a fire inside him. No, not again. His hands were soaked in blood.

After everything, Thor would be the one to end him. Without as much as a word. In silence.

Loki couldn't stifle a cry of agony as Thor grabbed him by the neck again and dragged him to the cliff. Oh, gods, no!

"Thor! N-no! What are you doing- please!"

He didn't hesitate. He pushed Loki over the edge. 

~o~0~o~ 

Thor roared in agony, seeing the horrifying events unfolding before his eyes. He howled as Loki disappeared over the cliff and onto the rocks below. He sobbed as he watched himself turning around and walking away. As if nothing happened. As if the supposedly Thor didn't just lure his little brother, who saved Asgard, who came back to help him, who stayed and supported him, to the trap and then killed him in cold blood, hurting and torturing him beforehand.

They killed him. Killed Loki. Gods!

Losing consciousness, Thor could think only about one thing. He wished he could have died with Asgard.  

~o~0~o~ 

Loki crawled, biting his lips to stiffer his cries of pain. How could Thor do this? Why? He had hoped they came to the same place in their relationship. How could he...

If he survived this, he will find out. No matter what.

 ~o~0~o~ 

A/N: Sorry, scrulls. I made you evil here, hehe.


	14. Chapter 14

~ XIII ~ 

~o~0~o~

 

 “Guards! Leave us. Thor – you too. “

“Father! Please I-“

“Silence! Go, my son. “

 

Thor looked at Loki with mild concern, but then left as his father ordered. Loki stayed still looking at the ground. This was not a trial with all of the Aesir as witnesses. Odin wanted to decide this all by himself. In secret. _Why_?

 

When the hall emptied and only Odin and Loki remained, there was silence. Odin watched Loki with his good eye thinking. Loki now looked back at the man who ruined his life. Emotions returned - rage, despair, pain, hurt – everything like that night in the weapons vault. Did Odin know that something was off with Loki on Midgard? Will he listen to what Loki has to say? And _why_ all of this is kept secret?

 

Finally, Odin stepped in front of Loki and took off the muzzle. With the wave of his wrist shackles fell to the ground. Loki subconsciously took a step back. And stared back to what Odin will do to him next.

 

“He will come for you. We should be prepared. “

 

Loki froze, hearing those words. His breath hitched in his throat. _How does he know_? Does it mean…

 

“What?... What are you talking about-“?

 

_“Thanos_ , boy. I know what he seeks. I know why he wanted Teseract.” 

 

Loki was slowly beginning to lose his composure. His brain didn’t want to process the information. But at the same time his thoughts were flying with the speed of light.

 

_Odin knew?! What does it mean? How does he know about Thanos? He knew… From the beginning? From the moment he fell into their hands? And if so…_

 

“You… knew?”

 

“Yes,” - Odin said simply. Fully realizing what his answer revealed.

 

Loki just stared at Odin. Oh. _Oh_. Truly – the simplest of words revealed enough. Gods. It… _hurts_. It can’t be… Loki felt how tears started to burn in his eyes. He didn’t notice one rolling down his cheek – his eyes were only on that one blue eye that showed him _everything_.

 

_Yes_. Odin knew. He. Knew. From the very moment Loki crashed at those terrifying black lands. He knew- no! He watched those beasts capture him, he watched how they found out who he was, he _watched_ how they tortured him… How day by day, weeks, months they broke him apart, how they ripped his body to shreds, mutilated his flesh, broke his bones and stole his mind…

 

And all of that was a part of Odin’s plan. Odin just sat on his throne and let all of it happen. Heard Loki’s screams, his painful howls and silent cries and waited. Waited when Loki will finally break and succumb to Thanos’ will, waited when Loki will invade Midgard. Waited for him to fail. And patiently waited when Thor will return Loki in Asgard…

 

There was never a possibility where Odin intervenes, Loki mused numbly. Loki was again a pitiful pawn in All father’s game. Pitiful, meaningless pawn. Tool. _Relic_ …

 

Gods. Gods, please be merciful. Stop it. How could it… How could he… Again…

Loki didn’t even have the strength to be angry. This situation was beyond pain. Beyond betrayal. Loki just couldn’t comprehend those actions fully. It was as if it _can’t_ be possible. Just can’t! Because no one could be so cruel.

 

“As I said, - Odin continued evenly, - we will be prepared. When he comes you shall fight for what he has done to you. Then we will attack. Until that happens, you will live as you once were – at home. If Thor asks, you will tell him nothing – he should be strong for a future battle. Which will be for you, Loki, - Odin patted Loki’s shoulder as if in comfort. The younger god felt sick. - Until then – rest. I will come day after tomorrow to make sure that you are supposedly punished for your treason against Asgard. It will be anti-magic bracelets but it is only for others eyes. You are free. Now go to your chambers. Your mother wished to see you. And… welcome home, my son.”

 

Loki thought that if he begins to laugh he won’t be able to stop. If he will fall – he will never stand again.

 

As if in a trance Loki stepped away from the throne room and slowly went to his rooms. No one stopped him. By the King’s orders.

 

Each step was harder than previous. His heart ached. His whole being was like a shattered glass. There was nothing left to break.

 

After his ten steps, Loki was not able to catch himself (he didn’t care much though) and fell on his knees. It was so hard to breath with your chest so tight with pain. His whole body trembled from the shock. Paralyzing shock. Even on that day in the Vaults Loki didn’t feel so bad. So… destroyed. But now – Loki felt like a hollow shell.

 

Loki didn’t realize that he was crying until some tears fell on his hands. Numbly Loki stared how a lonely tear so slowly rolled on his skin. At that moment that tear was all that mattered in Loki’s world.

 

Somewhere far away Loki heard footsteps. They were coming near him but Loki didn’t care. He just sat ungracefully on the floor in the hall staring at nothing. With his tears still running on his face Loki was just concentrating on breathing. Everything else was in the fog. He didn’t care if someone saw him – they could kill him on the spot for all he cared. _That_ would be… a relief. For he longed for absolution.

 

“Loki?”

 

Someone called his name. Doesn’t matter. Whoever it was he wasn’t able even to focus his eyes to know. He was so tired. He just wanted a little rest. So tired of living…

 

 

~o~0~o~

 

“Loki, can you hear me? “

“Sif, I think he is in shock. We should… “

“Help me lift him up. To his room? “

“Do you think it’s a good idea? “

“We can’t leave him here! “

“No! Of course not. But… a healer maybe? He looks unwell. “

“Maybe later when he will sleep this over. “

“Guys, where is Thor? “

“Don’t know. Come on – lift him up. “

“By the Nine! Loki was always thin but not to this degree! He weights nothing! “

“You know why. Come on. “

 

The Warriors Three and Sif carried unresponsive Loki to his chambers and carefully laid him on the bed. They will never reveal it but they saw and heard everything what happened in the throne room. They understood little, only that Loki was so crushed by Odin’s words, that the king _knew_ what happened to Loki. And that some Thanos will come for Loki and it was clearly heard that Odin will use his son as bait… not meant to survive. And that Thor should know nothing about this. It was so suspicious that the four warriors felt uneasy. When they saw Loki when he left Odin, how he clearly was so numb to reality, how he fell on his knees and didn’t get up and his tears… They were never close to Loki and not especially after Loki tried to kill them but… Something terrible happened to him, what Odin knew about and – did nothing to prevent? And now their friend (no matter what Loki was still their friend) was on the verge of collapse. They must know what happened so they could help. They will ask Thor about Midgard now.

 

~o~0~o~

 

“Loki started a war… to take the throne? “

“Aye. He wanted to rule Midgard. “

“Um… Thor. Don’t you think it is kind of…“

“It is madness. Loki has gone mad. “

“Wait! Mad? How-“

“Besides Loki has always spoke that mortals can’t live with one ruler. I remember how he studied Midgard and spoke how foolish they are destroying each other, their meaningless wars and other staff. Loki _knew_ there was no throne. Don’t you think it’s not like Loki? “

“I don’t know friends! I don’t want to talk about it. Loki killed innocents, destroyed cities-“

“Innocents? Thor! Loki would _never_ do such a thing! “

“Sif is right, Thor. Loki won’t go on a hunt other time if he must kill without meaning. He is not one for a battle for the sake of battle and you know it, “- Fandral said.

“It is not like him.“ Hogun said quietly.

“I don’t know! It means I lost my brother if I don’t know him anymore! He became evil-“

“Thor, wait! You say this as if we too don’t know Loki! But we do! And we are telling you that there is something else going on. “

“I am tired. I will see you tomorrow. And no more of it. The brother I knew is gone. And I will speak no more of that creature that now wears his face. “

“Thor! “

“Thor! “

“It’s like something is clouding his vision. With Thor’s story and what we heard I think there is something sinister going on and Loki is the victim, while Odin seems like he planned all of this.“

“And Thor doesn’t want to open his eyes! “

“And he will never go against his father. “

“What shall we do? “

“If Odin will come tomorrow, Loki will be without magic and it means defenseless. I think…“

“Do you think the same thing I do? “

“If you think to take Loki away from here than yes. He is still our friend. “

“And he didn’t deserve whatever happened to him.

“We should ask him about it when he is away and safe from Asgard.

“Where to? “

“Midgard. No one will think of it! “

“Then it is settled. “

 

~o~0~o~

 

Loki cried helplessly in his empty and silent rooms. And there was no one to comfort him. He will never be free again – until his death, which will come soon.

 

_'No, no. I can’t. I can’t do this. Thanos will kill me. They will use me -_ again _\- as bait and only then they will attack. But not before he kills me - because who would ever need me then? I will die and they will be heroes and will live happily after. No... I can’t... How could they do this to me? After everything_ he _has done to me... and Odin just watched... How could he..._

 

Cruel. Disgusting. Loki buried his head in his hands, stifling a scream of despair and helplessness.

 

~o~0~o~

 

“Heimdall. Please… let me pass. “

“I can’t do this. “

“You knew... what has been done to me? You saw? “

“Yes. “

_His heart hurts. Like it doesn’t want to beat anymore._

“Then please... Permit me this little hope... for future not decided by others... _Please_.

“I can’t let you pass. “

Loki didn’t care how he looked right now - that he openly cried in front of the gatekeeper. His life was over - tomorrow he will be locked away in the palace so that he would not run until Thanos comes. The golden cage indeed. The fact that it was his family – _even Frigga_ \- that once told that they loved him, was doing this to him - broke that little that was left of him. Part of him that hoped still.

“I can’t let you pass but I cannot see you if you are suddenly to disappear. This is as much as I can do going against Odin’s orders for what you have been through. You did not deserve it. “

Disappear?  But he is so weak. What if he won’t rest in time and then he will stay here forever? Until he dies. But… There is still a little hope.

“Thank you... And I am sorry. For everything. Please forgive me. “

“You are forgiven Loki. And now go. Good luck. “

 

~o~0~o~

 

“Loki?“

“Sif? “Whispered Loki. He had no strength to speak regally anymore. There was no point. “What are you-doing here? “

“We came to rescue you of course!“

Loki looked confused. And Gods did he look tired.

“I don’t… understand?“

“Loki, we… we heard what has been said in the throne room. If our thoughts are true that it is a verge of injustice - what Odin did to you. And _is_ going to! We hope you will tell us what exactly happened. We are here to listen. “

“And it’s a shame to serve a king, who uses his son as nothing but his political pawn! “

“Anyway! We are here for you – to take you away. Are you coming? “

Loki was stunned. Was he hearing things? Did they just…

“What - _What_? “

“Whatever you were thinking, Loki Silvertongue, you are our friend. We may have our faults but we care about you. “

“And we missed you, you know? “

“So! We must hurry. Are you ready? “

“But how… Where is Thor? “

They all looked away for a second. There was such hope in Loki’s eyes and to crash it was cruel.

“Um… We talked to him… but he refused to listen to us. He said his father is wise and just and that you have gone mad. “

“And that we are being foolish. “

“Yes, so… Thor doesn’t know about any of this. And he won’t. He is wrong, Loki. “

Loki lowered his gaze on his hands. Thor – always loyal to Odin. Blind fool… Where are your speeches about brotherhood _now_? When I need you the most…

“All right… I- _thank_ _you_ … I thought…”

“Don’t mention it, Loki. You endured enough for your life. We will take care of that no harm comes to you. Be sure of it. “

“Where to?”

“Midgard.”

“ _What_?!”

“It is the only way. Fret not, Loki. All will be well. “

 

~o~0~o~

 

Loki crashed on the ground painfully. It seemed he broke his arm and maybe bruised his ribs. Slowly turning his head Loki noticed that others looked bruised but otherwise fine.

 

Oh, how everything hurt. Loki lay on the cold ground with eyes closed trying to calm his labored breathing. Loki felt like he won’t be able to lift a finger. So was still so tired. Four people plus was a mistake. Oh, now he will pass out from the extension.

 

“Loki? Are you all right? Loki?”

“Just a minute…” Loki whispered.

“We should go. It is not safe here.”

“Yes. Can you stand? Loki!”

“I… I will try.”

Agonizingly slowly Loki sat. Fandral helped him on his feet, but Loki swayed dangerously so that Hogun stepped too to help.

“Loki! Your arm…”

“Broken… But it’s all right…”

“Are you sure you ok? You are so pale.”

“My magic… I was not sure if I- if I could go alone. With your four- I…”

“Loki? Hey, stay with us!”

“He passed out, Sif. “

“I will carry him – tis no problem. “

“Good, Volstagg, but be careful with his arm. “

“Of course. “

“He looks so fragile. And he used his last strength on this – to take _us_ …”

“We should decide what to do. And find shelter. “

“Yes. Let’s keep going. “

 

~o~0~o~

 

“Loki?”

“… Yes, Sif?”

“Are you well?”

“… No.”

“Oh, Loki-“

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I _can’t_! It’s too much too much I can’t… “

“What is the matter? Please, tell me. “

“… How could he? How _could_ he do this to me he- he claimed to _love_ me and he just let it all- _How_?!”

Sif with horror watched how her friend was breaking apart in front of her very eyes. His pain was touchable. Loki’s thin frame trembled from inner suffering. And there was nothing she could do to help him.

“I am so sorry, Loki. I am _so_ very sorry.”

“He left me there to suffer inhuman tortures- he left me be ripped apart over and over again- he sat and watched- as an _entertainment_! _How soon Loki will break?! For how long he could stay conscious? When will he start to beg?!”_

“Loki, please…”

“He left me there alone. He didn’t tell Thor! He forbade Heimdall to speak of it to anyone! So his plan won’t be interrupted! He is _sick_ , vile creature. I hate him. _I HATE HIM!”_

Sif kneeled in front of Loki and took him in her arms. Loki was breaking her heart in pieces.

“Shh… It’s okay. It’s okay…”

“I wish I died as a baby on Jotunheim… I wish he never took me… I wish I never knew you all… And I wish… I wish Thor was not my brother… for he left me alone… he abandoned me…”

 

~o~0~o~

 

Fury, Stark, Rogers and six SHIELD agents surrounded five warriors in moments. Aesir pulled their weapons ready for a battle. Loki was still pretty much weak with his arm broken but if needed he will protect himself.

 

“Nothing will happen if you go with us peacefully, Loki.“  Captain America said.

“We will not let any harm done to him, mortal.“ Sif stood with her sword ready to protect Loki.

“Oh! Did he brainwash you too? That’s neat. And here I thought Asgardians were strong.“ Fury.

“Hold your tongue!“ Fandral shouted angrily.

“Ok, guys, let’s not get trigger happy, huh?” Stark tried to calm everyone down. Unsuccessfully though.

“You will protect a traitor of Asgard? Didn’t he try to kill you?” Fury pointed out.

“We will protect our prince!”

“Where is Thor by the way? You are _his_ friends, right? So where is _he_?”

“Thor is not willing to listen for words said against his father Odin.”

“What does Odin has to do with this?”

“ _Everything.”_

It was the first word that they heard from Loki. He didn’t look at anyone as he hissed that answer. Now though Loki turned and looked at them. Stark involuntarily took a step back. Loki’s eyes were crazy. But not like they were before. These eyes were filled with suffering and anger so intense it was scary. Loki was drowned in pain and for once let everyone see it. Green eyes were shining with unshed tears. But after a moment Loki lowered his eyes to the floor gathering his composure and after a second his face was again an indifferent mask. His voice thought was full of hate.

“How would you like the news that all this disaster could have been avoided? All the deaths and destruction – never happened? How would you react if I told you that if Odin lifted his one finger _nothing_ would have happened… But he did nothing. He just _watched_!“

“What are you talking about?!”

“Loki…”

“He _knew_ what will happen _long_ before I even took a step on your Realm! He knew what I suffered and gone through and has done _nothing_ to stop them! He could have rescued me from their hands, he could have _killed_ _me_ for all I cared but alas – he sat on his shiny throne and watched his plan coming in motion. All he had to do was send Thor to collect me after all of you destroyed Chitauri army all by yourselves. And then the last step – lock me up in Asgard and wait for Thanos – who was in charge of the invasion for your information – and give me up to him as a bait so they could once again sacrifice me for the good of the Realms.”

“Loki! You don’t have to-“

“It doesn’t matter anymore… And your precious Thor will never believe that his idol the wise and just Odin All Father is in truth a liar, a murderer and a thief, who will do anything – even leave his so claimed son to suffer tortures for all of eternity – if it will suffice his plans… You should be thankful though that Thor holds love for your Realm because Odin would have let you burn for all he cares.”

“… I want to hear a full version from you, Loki. And if that is a lie you will regret it, understood?”

“He won’t be – you will be dead if you will dare to hurt him, mortal. Is _that_ understood?”

Fury looked hard at Sif but after a moment turned around and left.

“Let’s get going.” Steve said awkwardly.

He was the one to go with Loki after all. SHIELD agents escorted Aesir and Stark was following the last.

“Are you hurt?”

Loki didn’t answer. He will not show any more weakness in front of these mortals.

~o~0~o~

 

“Barton. Stand. Back!”

“What the fuck does it mean, Fury?!”

“I said stand back, soldier. It is an order!”

“Hey, birdie. Lower your bow, ok?“

“I will shoot him. And you… I know you? What are you doing here with _him_?”

“Hurt him and you are dead.” It was Hogun.

“The fuck is going on! It is HIM! I wished to do this all along. I don’t care that-“

It was Steve Rogers that struck Barton from behind. In any other situation, Clint would have noticed him but now he was distracted and emotionally compromised. Steve caught his teammate and carefully lowered him in a chair. They had to talk after all.

~o~0~o~

 

A/N: and then Loki tells his story and the others listen. Meanwhile in Asgard there is commotion – Odin is furious and Thor confused. Heimdall doesn’t see shit. The mortals gather their forces and bring out allies. Friendships arise. Thanos is in for a trouble. Cause Loki will now fight on his own terms.

I wrote it in 2013. Sorry for any mistakes – I wasn’t any good in English then. And seeing as all my other stories show the characters in another light, sorry for OOC of my stories canon lol.

Thank you for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

~ XIV ~ 

~o~0~o~

Maybe one day

-0.0-

 

A little piece of angsty fluffy sad comfort. Just wanted something quiet and peaceful ( _I just wanted to see it but ONCE, Marvel. Was it too much to ask?!_ ). Thor comes back to meet his friends the Avengers. But his loss and grief is too great and he can’t cope any more. Post-Thor TDW. [Character death].

 

A/N: Great OOC but whatever. Please read and leave a comment. Enjoy!

 

-0.0-

 

It seemed impossible but once again, the most unique and special individuals known as Avengers gathered together in Avenger Tower. So many things happened to every one of them since the last time they’ve met. New fights won, enemies defeated, lives changed.

 

There was no war or grand trouble ahead of them this time. This time they met just as friends and not as comrades or brothers in arms. All they wanted was to share the news and spend time together in a comfortable atmosphere. Moments like that were sacred and so little in their lives.

 

The last one to come was Thor. Humans were not sure if he would come. From what they heard and found out there was a war in Asgard with Dark Elves. What more surprises they will meet, they thought. Ancient beings, unimaginable races, Convergence, three-damned magic. But what was funny they weren’t even surprised anymore.

 

When Thor finally came humans startled a little. Thor has changed. Not that his appearance became older, mature and wiser. The change was seen in his very eyes, now dimmed in their brightness, some broken edge in his always shiny smile. Thor has changed.

 

-0.0-

 

“Thor? We don’t want to pressure you but can you tell us what happened? We saw you in London and the sky… What was that?”

 

“Every five thousand years the realms stand in line. It is named Convergence. The Dark Elves ruled by Malekith the Accursed chose that day to bring the realms in eternal darkness. Asgard was the first to fight.”

 

“There were… there were great losses among our people. Many have fallen in battle and… and…”

 

“We are so sorry, Thor. It must be… horrible. A war I mean.”

 

“Y-yes. I… But- I lost… I lost so much more…”

 

“Um. Thor? Are you all right?”

 

Thor looked like he was trying to stay strong and unaffected but his mask was slipping. Talking about Asgard was painful for him and no mask could hide a deep anguish, sadness and grief behind those blue eyes.

 

“War took much from me. And… and it is entirely my fault.”

 

“Don’t say that. Surely you can’t blame yourself.”

 

“Tell us what happened.”

 

“Who did you lose? Your close friends? Or someone-“

 

“My mother.” Thor choked losing all his stoic composure. “My brother.” With the broken ‘brother’ tears rolled on Thor’s cheeks. Thor hid his face behind trembling hand.

 

Humans didn’t dare to comment on such news. Thor lost his _mother_? And… _Loki_? He was dead?

 

“How did it happen?” Bruce asked quietly.

 

“They invaded from within. From the dungeons. Accursed, he… he wanted Jane but my mother tricked him. I-I-I was too l-late, too late! If I had only came a moment earlier, she would be _alive_ still! I could not protect her. It is my fault.”

 

“And Loki?” Steve inquired carefully.

 

With that Thor’s face crumbled, a deep regret took hold of him and despair.

 

“I promised him vengeance against the one responsible for our mother’s death. Loki was… was the closest to her his whole life. They both shared the bond that even I had not with her or with father. Loki’s magic, how he excelled in it, became the best the world knew – he learned it from our mother Frigga. The loss took the last of him. Now I feel ashamed at how I approached him in his cell when he mourned… But it is past and no words would change it. I asked for his help. And he accepted… Now I wish I had never talked to him for because of my plan now Loki is dead when he could have been still alive in Asgard. Not free but _alive_.”

 

“How did he… die?”

 

“Me, Loki and Jane left to Svartalfheim. My brother was the only one who knew the secret paths to other realms. We arrived there and went with my plan to trick Malekith so that he would relieve Jane from the red substance and then we would attack. Loki’s deceit was perfect, Malekith believed him. Jane was free but… I couldn’t destroy the Aether. Accursed had it within himself. He walked away, to Midgard leaving his soldiers to kill us…”

 

“What then?”

 

“… The same monster who killed the queen fought me. I must say for a moment I thought that he will end me – so strong he was and not even Mjolnir was able to help. I was defenseless, receiving endless blows, only waiting for the last to come. But then… then Loki came. He… he pierced that c-creature through with a blade… The fool. Wanted to save me… I don’t know if he hoped that such injury would end Kurse… It _didn’t_. After that, I could only watch and scream helplessly as the monster grabbed my brother and impaled him on the same blade.” Thor’s jaw trembled. “I… I couldn’t…”

 

“Thor.”

 

“He died in my arms. H-he said… I held him as the last breath left his body and his eyes closed forever… I didn’t even have time to mourn because Malekith already left to your world. Nor could I care for his body, left in the ashen lands of Svartalfheim… My friends, I… My mother. My brother!”

 

“Thor-“

 

Thunderer then pushed his stool away and fled from the room. Humans startled at Thor’s behavior and cautiously followed him in the main room, where the god headed.

 

No matter how they felt about Loki, he was Thor’s little brother, his family. And Thor’s mother… Their friend indeed lost so much.

 

When they found him, their hearts gave painful jolts as they witnessed how Thor, son of Odin, the god of Thunder was breaking in pieces. Thor was on his knees and held his face in his hands. Thor’s sobs were agonized, painful to hear. The weather behind the windows raged with intensity, the rain hit with force, the lightening flashed in the black starless sky.

 

Mortals were afraid to approach a heartbroken god. They didn’t know what to do. Simple words won’t fix anything, won’t bring the dead. Nothing but time will heal Thor’s heart now.

 

Suddenly the lights shimmered and died. All lights, in the whole tower went off. The room they were in became dark. Only the moon shone brightly.

 

“Must I comfort you always, brother?”

 

A soft, quiet voice from the darkness cut the silence like a blade. Thor’s breathing hitched. That voice.

 

“Loki? L-loki? B-brother?”

 

“Shh. It’s alright.”

 

“You- you are…” When Thor’s trembling hand went through Loki, it found nothing but air. But Loki didn’t disappear like one of his illusions. It was just light. If it was not an illusion, then…

 

“No! No, please! Tell me you are alive! Tell me!”

 

“I’m sorry, Thor. But I’m not.”

 

“No! No… You are lying. Please, lie to me one last time… Just one last time…”

 

“No more tears, Thor. Not for me, nor for mother, who, so you know, sends her love.”

 

“Please… Loki!“

 

“Brother. You must stop blaming yourself. No more of that.”

 

“No! No, it’s my fault! If not for me – y-you will be here with me. You’d be alive!”

 

“No. Oh, Thor. You never listen…”

 

“You died in my arms, Loki. You died because OF ME!”

 

“I died FOR YOU!”

 

Thor flinched and choked a sob.

 

“I’m sorry. Brother, I’m so sorry. I didn’t protect mother. I didn’t protect you. I promised her that I would always protect my little brother. And I broke my oath.

 

“I… Loki, I…”

 

“Shh… Enough. Think not of it. You will see our mother again, be sure. But she doesn’t want you to mourn her now. She wants you to live your life free of grief and misery. Be a king you were always meant to be. Make her proud, brother.”

 

“I can’t be a king without you! _You_ were supposed to stay beside me! Rule with me! What worth am I now? I am _no one_ without you, Loki!”

_“Now_ you see it? Oh, Thor. You will be just fine. “

 

“… And you? Will I see _you_ again?”

 

“Who knows, Thor. But… maybe one day, hm?”

~o~0~o~

 


	16. Chapter 16

~ XV ~ 

~o~0~o~

 

“Shut UP! I would rather have killed you!”

“Maybe you should have! So why didn't you?!”

“Do not antagonize me, Loki!”

“Why not?! You had a chance to end it! It would have been right!”

“What-“

“Oh, yes. Don't you know? I live on a borrowed time. And all this... is rather pointless.”

“What are you talking about?”

“But it's true. Odin himself said that my birthright was to die. But I survived. When I let go, I should have died in the Void, torn to pieces. But I survived! In the hands of my torturers I was meant to die hundreds of times! But no! Still ALIVE! I was not executed, placed instead to rot in a cell. Then the chance and my moment of revenge. I died for you! I died there, Thor. It was over. But here I am. Disgustingly drawing another breath. So you indeed should have acted upon it, brother. Should have struck me. And maybe... Maybe this time I would have been finally blessedly... no more.”

 

Thor struck him in the face. Hard. And stormed away. Loki slowly raised himself from the floor and calmly walked to his room. There he dropped under the covers and promptly fell asleep.

He was very tired after all.

 

~o~0~o~

 


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Self-indulgent? Is this a word? Sorry, I don’t know English well.

~ XVI ~

~o~0~o~

“Loki Laufeyson.”

Loki stared in front of himself blindly, not reacting. He was standing still if front of various audiences, small and defeated. Heavy chains cuffed his wrists but at least he would be able to speak, no muzzle.

The Avengers shifted a little, not really liking to be here. Some holy godly business was up and no matter that they were the best on Earth – _here_ _and now_ they felt like Loki called them before. Ants. They still were somewhat awed by all scene – three women were ethereal and ‘impossible’. Gods kneeled to them. These women decided fates. How crazy was it?

And the thought that fucking Loki was under their judgment now, still made them swallow with a small amount of pity. Loki was a dead man. Or if the look of fear and horror on the Aesir ’ faces was any indicator – death would be a mercy.

Thor was standing near his father Odin, seething. He still could not believe Loki tricked him _again_. So many times his brother cheated death that the _Norns_ came to take him. And even if he was angry with Loki, he was scared – terrified - as well.

For The Three of the Norns will judge his brother now.

Odin AllFather stood straight and unflinching. Last time he brought judgment in this hall was when condemning Loki to eternal imprisonment. Many things happened since. His long lost boy was not his responsibility anymore. He would not help him now when his lies and monstrous deeds caught the eyes of those even Odin himself would not dare to step up. Not for Loki. If Frigga were here… But it didn’t matter now. There was no one to help Loki. Neither will Thor, if he so wished.

One of the Norns – Sculd – turned elegantly to Loki and waved her hand. Cries of shock and outrage and hate filled the throne room. Some spit in disgust. Because Sculd’s move instantly pulled away Loki’s glamour that made him look like Aesir, revealing his Jotun form along with deep blue skin, silver marking visible on his face and neck and red eyes. No more Loki of Asgard. Now there stood a monster Frost Giant, abomination and dirt beneath everyone’s feet.

And there went the first reaction from Loki. When the color reached his face, Loki’s lips trembled right before he forced his jaw to clench. Crimson eyes gone bright with unshed tears, looking down, when people started to shout and curse him. Breathing hitched and became labored no matter how much Loki tried to steady it.

Loki stood rigidly and took the hate of the very people he spend his whole life side by side, silently. In his pain and humiliation, he did not dare to make a sound.

The Avengers stared. Quickly looking at Thor, they saw the Thunder God closing his eyes and half-turning as if not wishing to see Loki.

“Curious. Testing. Needing to see the truth no matter the personal cost.”

“Mischievous. Cunning. Troublemaker.”

“Always let down. Been lying to by everyone.”

“Spiteful. Jealous. Mad.”

“Alone. Suffering. Broken.”

“Loving. Caring. Ready to help.”

“Unseen. Unloved. Unwanted.”

“Abandoned. Left to die. Used.”

“Sad. Pretending. With a small pained smile on thy lips.”

“Lying. Manipulative. Wicked. Cruel.”

“Freak. Monster. Unnatural.”

Loki was biting his lip with such a force it started bleeding. His hands were strung tight around white knuckles. He was trembling. The flood of words was killing him inside. He was called all those things indifferent, cold, not-caring. No one cared indeed that he was dying inside with each hurtful ( _truthful_ ) word. And everyone saw it.

“Met with hatred.”

“No kind word.”

“No compassion.”

“No companionship.”

“Rejected.”

“Unaided.”

“A rightful king of Asgard. Betrayed.”

At this, Loki’s head jerked as if slapped. Like he recognized the words. Of course, _those were his words_.

“Being with the heart broken from the start.”

“Cracked.”

“Learned to hide the pain.”

“A brother. A son. A father.” 

“The most deserving to be happy.”

That was met with absolute silence. The only sound was how knees hit the hard ground, when Loki’s legs could hold him no longer. It was too much. Too much.

So it was beyond his imagination to find himself embraced by the Three Norns, still on his knees. Loki blinked away tears when indeed three beautiful women were kneeling right beside him. Like… equals.

“Loki.”

A fallen god could only cry harder when Verdandi left him in his pale skin – no more blue.

“Loki.”

Sculd touched the metal and all shackles fell on the floor and then vanished. Loki could only put his weak limbs in his lap not understanding anything anymore.

“Loki.”

Urd leaned closer to him and caressed his cheek, gathering tears there. In the next moment Loki’s garb replaced it with his own armor down with a cape but the difference was that it was now gold – the same as the Norn’s. But Loki’s attention was on his vembraces – and the engraving there. Fenrir’s head, Jormungandr’s shape and Hela’s symbol along with his own that of an eternal snake.

No one seemed to even breathe. What were the Norns doing? Set the monster and criminal free? Was Loki _worthy_? Impossible.

“Loki. We ask you to honor us with your presence beside us on the branches of Yggdrasil.”

“We ask you to join us in the matters that concern fate.”

“We want _you_.”

Loki’s tears did not stop flowing. He looked bewildered and frightened but at the same time at peace. Even if they lied to him, it was alright. He will die at least lolled by caring words for a change. Cared for, as he never did by anyone. Asked for, as if he mattered. Everything else was fading for the feeling of warmth in the place of constant unforgiving cold inside his chest.

He was not cold anymore.


	18. Chapter 18

~XVII~

~o~0~o~

Post-Thor TDW. Thanos’ army declared war on Asgard. Short snippet.

~o~0~o~

Thor summoned Loki to the Avenger Tower.

Loki who was now king was enraged at forceful ‘kidnapping’ only so Thor would spoke his empty words.

“How dare you!? Now you would name me your brother! After everything you’ve said? I don’t want nor need your aid! Go back to your pets and leave me alone.”

“Do you think I would simply sit back when Asgard suffers, brother? And don’t tell me after all the things you have done-“

“What I have done? What I’ve done! All I ever did was protecting Asgard, you fool! All my life I was loyal to her, even when all betrayed me! I attacked Jotunheim so no life would be lost – no woman, no child – in the war you had started. I attacked Midgard and failed deliberately – so HE would spare Asgard the utter ruination. You are still alive because my plan worked! And you dare question my motives to sit on Odin’s throne after you left – ruined, shattered Asgard after the Dark Elves’ war – you LEFT! To Midgard. Instead of staying and taking care of your people, taking your rightful place! You denied the crown to spend your time with mortals. Foolish, greedy, arrogant… traitor. This is who you are, Thor. Traitor! You betrayed Asgard choosing a pitiful existence in the arms of your mortal wench, leaving behind your home, your companions who were by your side for centuries, who looked up to you, for your command. Your own – not even mine – father, your life-long friends… for this. When everyone needed you, you turned your back. Maybe… I am not an epitome of goodness and bravery and worthiness but at least I made everything in my power to aid Asgard in her time of need. I stayed. And in the war that is coming – I will fight. Not just for myself – for I was wronged and broken by Thanos – but for Asgard. For my mother’s memory. And if you think… that proclaiming a loud speech about how strong and helpful you are with the help of your three-damn cursed hammer… Well! Think again. Just know that even your closest friends aren’t waiting for your return anymore. They understood perfectly where your loyalties lie. With mortals. So shut your mouth, Thor. Feel free to go help them kill each other, I care not. Because it is all they have ever done, do and will do. And no matter – Thor or no Thor – they will continue to do so. Go back to your woman, talk to her about Asgard, how beautiful she is, how magnificent, how you rejected everything you were born to protect… Now. Summon me again and I will burn this tower to ash. Do you hear me, Stark? Asgard is closed to you, Odinson. We would either perish or we would win. But until I hold Gungnir you will stay away.”

~o~0~o~


	19. Chapter 19

~XVIII~

~o~0~o~

A/N: Heavy angst with happy end. Enjoooooooy!

~o~0~o~

To hell with Thanos, I don’t know him. After Ragnarok Thor and Loki came to Earth and with no bloodshed and screams (and typical bullshit like ‘He is a mass murdering psychopath!’ or ‘Is this a guy who levelled New York?!’ or ‘He should be locked up!’ because really, after the Avengers themselves broke the laws and became terrorists they don’t get to talk and bring moral height and Thor says Loki served his punishment on Asgard, not Midgard, so they don’t get to judge him twice, get out).

Anyway, Stark helps Thor to speak with Scandinavian government and then they settle on their own land. Loki is always beside Thor to help him smooth the proceedings, because he was the king and he was not bad at it and Thor is without experience so he had to listen to his little brother. And they work fine together, Loki promised him that he wants to help because so much bad shit happened and for once he wants to stop seeing only the worst in life. Thor gladly agrees and they build up their new home.

After a while, when many things work like clock, and Thor can relax, the Avengers call Thor to go to the Tower to maybe help out with some missions. When he finds out that some of their enemies use magic, Thor asks if it will be ok if Loki came too, because he was the best sorcerer and will be of great help. Thor also wanted his friends to accept his brother, because Loki works too hard and yes, aside from Heimdall there are no one from their friends alive and being together throughout centuries, it feels quite lonely. So Thor asks and reluctantly the humans agree. Bruce vouches for the younger god, and so Steve concedes with the fact that Loki’s magical help will be useful.

The brothers come to the tower. Stiffly but they could all work together. Loki even participates in some of the team gatherings, but he is always can be found not far from Thor.

After Thor reveals what happened for all the time he was away from Earth, the Avengers jump at him with:

_Thor, buddy, we are so sorry. It must have been so hard to you. You have endured so much, so many losses. If you need help, we will gladly help you. Therapist help or just to listen. We_ _are_ _here_ _for_ _you_ _._ _Always!_

Thor is super grateful and sentimental. Loki looks at this from the sidelines and says nothing. Later Thor speaks with Loki about what happened, not knowing that Loki was there and heard everything. He says that maybe it was indeed a good idea to seek help, because yes, his father, his weapon, eye and hair and home and people etc. etc. Loki listens to him in silence, but after a while it is clear to Thor that Loki doesn’t like to hear it. And suddenly all he feels is anger at Loki.

He shouts at his brother that why couldn’t he understand that Thor is also hurting?? That Loki got used to disregard Thor’s grief. Or that Loki just became insensitive to other people's misfortunes and revels in other’s sufferings. Thor too needs help and he will get it. Then he storms away to his room.

Loki is left alone then. Thinking about what happened, it was not because Loki didn’t care for Thor’s pain. It broke his heart that Thor had to suffer all that. No, it was just that Loki felt upset because, as always, around Thor is a bunch of sycophants, a mountain of friends who cares about him. And that Thor has the opportunity to do something for himself. And it's a shame because Loki lost a lot too. He lost himself, his name, his race, his standing in the world, his family, innocence, lost his mind, broke under torture, then lost his freedom, lost his brother, human intercourse, then his life. Not to mention Frigga and Odin. Loki has nothing at all! And no one _ever_ acknowledged it. 

(But actually my canon is that Loki thinks so, but in reality Asgard loves him, truly sees that their prince is talented and resourceful and was always there for Asgard – and he was better than Odin in ruling. Although the Valkyrie mocks him, secretly she likes him, Heimdall has warmed up to Loki considerably, finally seeing Loki for who he is, etc.).

Loki just doesn't believe in it. But then he will see where he was wrong. 

And all this puts Loki into depression. He also has PTSD (he just hides it well) - after Thanos, after all the terrible things that happened to him at his hands, on Asgard - with Odin and his lies, his cruelty; in the Void, after the Grandmaster (he won’t let himself remember his time on Sakaar, it was awful, better not to remember, drown it in a drink, anything). And no one helped him, no one took his hand and led him to the doctor, did not support nor care for his pain. Loki survived and continues to cope without anyone’s help. And the fact that Thor is angry with him now, thinking that Loki is simply inhuman, makes him depressed even more. 

Thor was already feeling better (having ignored his little brother while getting help). And then somehow, maybe a panic attack or Wanda will see, somehow the Avengers will know about Loki. And blah blah Thor will be embarrassed for his hot rage and accusations. Bruce, too, will go to Loki with a proposal to talk to him or a therapist. But Loki will cut NO, and will then return to Asgard.  

But when he comes to Asgard without Thor, he reluctantly starts to notice that people see him for _him_ (without golden Thor), they smile at him, greet him, they are nice to Loki. Valkyrie will invite him to drink. And so on.

Loki will start – after so many years – to accept his place in the world, not just endlessly looking for it. He will finally feel accepted.

And the happy end.

~o~0~o~


	20. Chapter 20

~ XIX ~

~o~0~o~

A/N: It is an AU of my own AU of pre-Thor. You can check chapter 11 again or it can be read as a separate story. Please enjoy!

~o~0~o~

Thor sought Loki out who avoided everyone. Loki stayed by himself, reading, mastering magic, talking to a circle of serious people. Loki completely avoided Thor and his bunch of friends.

At first Thor thought it good. But soon he realized how he actually missed Loki very much. Loki, his quiet serene presence beside, his quick mind, his jokes, his wit. As time went, Thor felt his life lacked something entirely important. His brother.   
But Loki seemed to not mind his own being in the shadows. He greeted Thor as always, like nothing changed. But it did. Loki cut himself from Thor, purposefully. And Thor didn't know why.   
Loki left Thor to learn ruling without him, preferring to visit other realms and stay there for a long time.  
The Avengers. Thor, waiting for something.   
Or to be more precise, someone. Loki had to come back today from Alfheim.   
Thor rushed to Bifrost as if burned. The others followed him confused.   
Sif didn't like Loki's unconscious hold on Thor, but she knew not how to change it.  
'Brother! It's so good to see you!'  
Loki let Thor hug himself, only patting the wide shoulder once in greeting.  
'Thor.'  
'I've missed you, Loki. Would you like to dine with me? There are some new faces I want you to meet and-'  
'Unfortunately, I have to report to father about my trip. It... could take some time. So... Go without me, Thor. I won't be missed I'm sure.'  
'You will! I haven't seen you for so long-'  
'Sorry. Let's go back to the palace. You could tell me what you were up to. My tales are not so exciting, I know.'  
'I will hear them!'  
A chuckle. 'Another time. So, shall we?'

~o~0~o~

It started way back. Thor's friends wanted to play a cruel joke on still young Loki, but he overheard their plan. It seemed Thor was all in, even if he simply got persuaded into hurting Loki. They wanted to leave him in the forest alone and lie to the grown ups until morning. It would teach Loki not to laugh at them when they failed at stupid lessons. Weapons were much too interesting to stupid books anyway!   
Loki, after being neglected for days by his parents when he fell ill took it too close to his heart, but the realization stayed with him _for years_.  
He could no longer trust Thor, nor other Aesir not to hurt him. They were so eager to push him to the void, Thor knowing he feared the great heights. Since that day Loki has stopped trusting his brother. He knew it was just a child's mean joke meant to be soon forgotten.

But the child never forgot.   
So Loki made a distance between himself and Thor, dismissing and ignoring Sif and the Warriors Three altogether, like they never existed.   
And they didn't, in Loki's mind. Why dirty his day seeing them? Thor was the perfect candidate for their foolish endeavors.   
Only Thor wasn't prepared to gain friends but lose a brother, his BEST friend in the world.   
But Loki made a decision. He was no longer a naive trusting child. Thor could have Odin and Frigga, and Sif and all of Asgard at his feet.   
But at least he wouldn't have him.  



	21. Chapter 21

~ XX ~

~o~0~o~

Thanos attacked the ship. Thor was thrown away, but before that he saw Thanos hurting Heimdall, and Loki who tried to stop it.

“Loki. I was waiting for you. Come.”  
“No, Loki don't listen to hi-“  
“Come, Loki. Right here. Now I know you have something for me.“  
“Loki”, Thor whispered.  
“Give it to me. Give me the Tesseract.”  
Loki felt his mind freeze in utter horror when without his consent his hands summoned the relic before the Titan. He was helpless watching himself kneel before Thanos and reaching to give him the cube. Only his eyes showed his terror. But no one could see them.   
“Loki no...”  
Thor watched his brother giving the enemy an infinity stone, condemning them all. Loki took the Tesseract, right before Asgard was destroyed. Why was he surprised after all - wasn't it in Lokis nature after all?

Heimdall saw how Loki acted against his will, how the strong mage appeared as a puppet in the hands of a Titan. He should have known. He should have known.

“Let go of him, Mad Titan.”  
“Little Loki, you have been gone for so long. It is time to be back to your master. We had so much good time together. Wasn't it great, little one?”  
“Let go of him!”

Thanos lazily lowered his hand and Loki fell backwards. The god as if awoke and frantically crawled away from everyone, not seeing where, just away. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think - all that he knew is that he was back in Thanos' hold, reliving the agony of his endless tortures, of being alone, so alone in his cold, black prison, where the only sounds were his own screams.

“Heimdall. The Gatekeeper. You praise yourself all-seeing. I think I will take your gift as well.”

~o~0~o~

Earth. Heimdall, blind, and Loki, broken. Loki healed gatekeeper’s eyes to normal before he lost consciousness.

~o~0~o~

SHIELD and Stark arriving. The Gods lying unmoving on the ground. Thor nowhere to be seen.

~o~0~o~

“I'm sorry, Loki. I didn't know. I didn't see. I am sorry.”  
“Is Thor… is he..”

Loki couldn't continue as the wish to cry overwhelmed him. He wanted his brother. But he saw what Titan did.

“How long did he have you, Loki?”  
The God lifted his eyes, devoid of life. Heimdall exhaled in sorrow, seeing the young Odinson so broken.  
“Felt like forever.”

~o~0~o~

“You were their king.”  
“So what? Spineless, empty stupid people! Only good for following orders. They went after their king and all died. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered with saving them?!”  
“Loki! Stop it. It is the grief talking.”   
“Grief? For Asgard? For-“  
“Yes. Please, Loki. Don't go in Hela's steps-“  
“And why NOT? After all... she did what she was made to do. She was what Odin made her for. A killer. A butcher. Death. Isn't it right? This family... these LIES, always. All of Asgard built on blood, on murders, on destroying and lying. All that gold, those treasures, relics - he did it. And me? I was his spy, was his tool to know the secrets, quietly sneaking to find out anything that could help Odin win. Always to get Odin win. Odin was a merciless tyrant, who build his glory on blood and death. Who lied and deceived, who used others for his purposes, who made his children... suffer for his mistakes. While all I wanted... was to give them freedom to live peacefully. To enjoy themselves.” While they could.   
“Loki. Odin is dead. And you ruled wisely. You... you were a good king.”  
“What does it matter? They are all dead. Asgard is dead. Thor is...”

“My time is over. I should go, before mortals return.”  
“Heimdall.”

The gatekeeper stopped.

“I... I will not... survive another meeting with him. I... I can't. I hoped...” Loki blinked up tears. “I hoped that I will die before it happens again. But... but death avoided my pleas. I was denied to die. So if... if we find ourselves at his mercy... do not hesitate.”  
Heimdall closed his eyes. And nodded.   


~o~0~o~

A/N: and then… Thor comes back with the bunch of idiots. He believed Loki and Heimdall lost to space or killed, but he was glad to be wrong. Thor thought Heimdall lost his eyes, and Loki – he guiltily believed betrayed everyone – he thought he would never see again to apologize. Thanos comes to Earth and they all meet for the final battle. Humans can do nothing as Heimdall releases his Prince and they both stand against their common enemy. What can you do in the face of these guys, right? Then the battle. Thor catches Loki for a short ‘talk’, before they are swept back into the fight.

Who wants the story to go as canon then, hmmmmmmmm?))) Or should they three survive?

Or should there be that mythology fate of Loki and Heimdall, like, killing each other? Hmmmmm???

Happy to hear from you!


	22. Chapter 22

~ XXI ~

A/N: I will never not have feels about the first Avengers. And I was so excited back then, years ago reading fics about it, not considering the movies that came out later.

The golden age!

~o~0~o~

 

While battling, Stark was able to break the scepter. Loki's hands flew to his head, the shriek tore itself free from his throat. Then he was on his knees, then his side, then silent and still on the ground. 

The Avengers were cautious to come closer to god's fallen form. It was Steve who kneeled above Loki, checking his pulse, ready to defend himself if Loki attacked. Loki didn't.   
Loki's eyes were bloodshot, his ears bleeding. He was unconscious. 

Thor was hesitant to approach his brother. Not that Steve would give up his charge. When they were flying, back to base Loki started to twitch and tremble, an involuntary moan would break free. When the Avengers put Loki to the medics, the god was whimpering and keening in obvious agony. Steve declared that he would stay with him. Surprisingly, so did Tony. 

As they watched the doctors trying to find out what was wrong with Loki, every one present were horrified to see the true state of Loki's body. 

Malnourished, abused, beaten. Tortured.

Thor couldn't answer Fury what happened to Loki because he knew not.  Loki was finally put under. Steve and Tony on both sides of the bed.

In fever Loki muttered words in an unknown language. Thor paled hearing them. Humans wanted to know what Loki was saying. 

"He said 'Please... help me."

"You know, big guy, I heard another words.” Tony tried his best to imitate Loki. “What are those?"

"... He said… ‘stop me... kill me."

No one knew what to say to that. 

~o~0~o~

 

How cool could it have been for Loki to have both Tony and Steve as friends?


	23. Chapter 23

~ XXII~

Valkyrie and Hela were fighting. Thor engaged with Hulk against Fenrir. Loki was fighting with undead warriors when he noticed that Hela was winning against Valkyrie. He was annoyed with that drunkie, she has bested him and laughed at him. Humiliated him. But looking around, at Thor, at Heimdall, at Banner and the Aesir - what did their little scrabbling matter? His mind was set when Hela avoided a kick and in turn pushed Val on her knees, the weapon lost, the woman open for a killing blow.  
Just before Hela’s sword stopped at Valkyrie’s head, Loki appeared just before Brunhilde and pushed her away, blocking the blow with his daggers.

“What are you doing?” Loki asked his sister as they clashed the metal of their weapons together.

“Excuse me?” For a moment the goddeth of death was taken aback by such simple a question.

“I asked what are you doing, sister? Why all of this? Odin is dead, you are free - do whatever you want. Why all this trouble? Isn't it tiresome?”

Hela snarled and punched Loki in the face, which he barely missed.

“What do you know-!”

“Oh, please! You are not the only one that old man wronged. Odin had more children to screw up with, but at least now I see that freedom is more exciting that these petty battles. Not worth it, believe me.”

“Screw up with? He ruined my life!“

“Mine too! So what? He's dead!”

Hela pushed with all her might - Odin's mentioning and the realization that her revenge couldn't be fulfilled fueled her rage. Loki saw that Hela went full force on him, and maybe he was not bad at fighting, quite good in fact seeing as he was still alive, but the battle wearied him and Hela was Odin's right hand and butcher, worlds fell under her sword.

He was distracted only for a second, but it has cost him - Hela jumped over him and sliced the long and deep gash on his momentarily exposed back. Loki gasped as his back arched in blinding agony, after what he fell forward on his knees, his knives falling from his weakened grip. He must get himself together and stand up, Loki thought sourly. But at first he had to open his eyes, that teared up against his will at the pain the weapon of the Death caused him. But before Loki could over think these two simple thoughts, he was roughly pushed back straight as the slender strong arm wound itself around his neck. Loki froze as he felt the tip of the sword press at his back, where his heart was, ready to impale him through.

'Not again', Loki thought frantically.

He wasn't even supposed to be here. He was meant to fly somewhere, in another galaxy with a bunch of Grandmaster’s warriors, who were happy to listen to him as their leader and go with him. He wasn’t supposed to fight again, to be brought once again in Thor's mess, with unlikable consequences for himself. He should be still ruling Asgard and watching his beautiful self produced play. Why? Why was he back? Why did he save the Valkyrie, why did he help Thor?  Because he cared? He didn't care, damnit!

Hela leaned closer to his ear and purred:

“Tis a shame, little brother. We could have chatted and maybe... got to know each other. If I wasn't who I was made to be and you didn't stand against the wishes of your Queen.”

The goddess of Death pushed the blade forward. But before she was done, she had to duck and lunge away as the white sword almost took her head from her shoulders. Brunhilde stood panting, the fury on her face as she took the battling stance, ready to kill she who took everything from her. As the dark prince saved her, Valkyrie was shocked at herself that in that moment the history repeated itself - the others fought for her. And the others fell because of her. Her mate was killed by Hela, saving her life. And now Valkyrie watched as Loki - strange, sneaky, intriguing brother of Thor - fought her battle, saving her too. She thought that after beating him when they fought, after chaining him up and mostly dismissing him, Loki would care not a wit about her. She was wrong. He could have left her die, watched it happen - no one would have been none the wiser. He didn't. He protected her.

And now Hela was making her watch the scene unfold like all those millenias ago - killing the ones who protected her. As Brunhilde saw Loki fall from Hela’s attack, Valkyrie didn't hesitate for a minute before taking the sword she lost and with a roar of anger and fury lunging at the monster. She wouldn't let others down, not again.  
But the Fates would not have mercy on her as it seemed. Before Valkirye had a change to cut Helas head off, she was a second too late as the goddess of Death pushed her sword into Lokis back.

She didn't know if the prince was still alive (how would she explain her failure to her king?), she only saw him fall - all her attention was on the bane of her existence. Hela. Nothing would stop Brunhilde now.

Thor left Hulk to deal with Fenrir, seeing as his people needed his help more. And besides, he didn't know where Hela was. All this had to stop now, he had to stop her.  
Of course there was a problem of the army that was endless as it seemed. Summoning the lightening Thor struck and struck, the bloodlust singing in his veins. He had never used his powers like this. It was exhilarating. A glance to find Hela among this chaos revealed that she was fighting with the Valkyrie. Five soldiers down with his sword.

Another glance. Loki? Loki was now fighting with Hela. But where is Brunhilde? Oh, she is alive, recovering. Another four soldiers down. He must help Loki, it was he who pushed (tricked) his brother to come here. So it was not Loki’s job alone to fight their sister. Six more.

But the next glance made his heart stutter and then beat wildly once again. Loki was face down on the ground, not moving and the Valkyrie was screaming making Hela retreat back in surprise from the sudden angry attack. No, no, it can't be. Loki couldn't be defeated this lightly. It was another trick. Loki was fine, just stunned. Or knocked unconscious. He was _fine_.

But seeing his brother laying there, so still brought up unpleasant, painful memories of all the times Loki was down, fallen. But it was a trick. Thor must get himself together and end the Ragnarok. With whatever it takes.

“Hey Loki. Hey, hey, easy. Come on, brother. Get up, come on.”

Pressing down on his brother's back to stop the bleeding, Thor carefully lifted Loki to sit down. Still kept convincing himself that it was a trick, even if everything spoke about the opposite (with the feeling of warm blood under his fingers), Thor needed to move Loki to safety.

“Thor?... What is going on...”

“Everything is fine, brother. How do you feel?”

The gash across the back was bad enough, but Thor saw the puncture wound as well. It was not good.

“Come on, get up. Heimdall! Help me!”

“I feel...numb.”

“You just fell, brother. How is, how is your back?”

“It’s, uh, hard to... breathe. Why am I...”

“Sshh. Come on. Getting- up! Yes. Lets go. The ship is near. Heimdal-”

“I got him, Thor.”

“No, no... Hela. She is-“

“I will take care of her, brother. Go with Heimdal. I... I love you.”

“Thor?..”

“Go. Now.”

A/N: Because I SAID so that Thor LOVES Loki, ok? Ok!

Thank you for reading.


	24. Chapter 24

~ XXIII ~

Hi! Have another chapter, please – this one is on an angsty side, but what can you do *shrugs*. Here will be some side character briefly, but just because I want Loki to have his own friends – not Thor’s leftovers. Enjoy!

~o~0~o~

Loki may have been astonished by Odin's actions, but either way he had a plan for any consequences he may face in Asgard.   
Even if he were to be killed, he had a way out.

But the way Odin threw him in a cell was really revealing about how Odin now saw him and felt about him. Loki swallowed his hurt, hardened his heart to never feel anything for that man again. Ever again. He may have sought Odin's approval or even a glance at his side his whole life, but well.   
Odin showed his colors at last after so many lies and deceit. With final ‘Laufeyson’ which what Odin saw Loki as always apparently, Loki erased the great All Father from his life.

His mother... It was sad how she continued to always defend Odin's actions, seeing them as nothing but wise and just. It was disappointing to hear her put her care and love in the same basket as Odin's when they both knew it was untrue. But she closed her eyes on this, choosing her husband. That was hurtful. And until she stopped hypocrisy Loki would deny her, no matter how much it pained him.

Imprisonment Loki also considered. Even if sometimes it was boring, Loki had finally had time he so terribly lacked for the last years. Time to recover first. No one even suspected. Good.

No one knew Loki had something in his dimension pocket to level half of the palace to the ground. Heh. From the inside of the cell Loki would destroy everything if he so wished. But yes, he needed time to recover, to heal, to sleep, to practice some unique spells he overall didn't have time for. Loki could spend years in his cell easily. Then he could start to move.

Good when you have long term plans. No rash. His friends in Alfheim would be ready when he comes.

So Loki would wait and watch. Thor showed him his attention by forgetting Loki existed. Bravo, brother. After so many words. Like father, like son. Mourned they. Yeah, right.

Also, there could be a situation when those imbeciles would need his help, seeing as they were too stupid to use their brains.

That would be fun.

~o~0~o~

Would you look at that? The Avengers needed his help. Thor knew only the one who could help. If only they knew that even in chains Loki could run. They didn't even suspect, satisfied that their enemy was bound.

Loki quietly observes while put in a cell in Stark Tower. He decided to indulge them a little. After all, they played a role he gave them. And still not knowing about it.

~o~0~o~

Ailmar came when he heard Loki left Asgard, but didn't contact his father, the king of Alfheim. He worried there were complications. Loki, he negotiated of giving up the information about the threat of Thanos and a promise to fight beside them when the time comes. That for the citizenship and protection. Alfheim was completely independent from Asgard and didn't need anything from the Aesir. This way accepting the former prodigal prince of Asgard in their ranks predicted only pros.

Ailmar came, facing Loki in chains in the midst of mortals.

"Why are you here, my friend? We thought something happened. Years passed, but you still haven't come. And now you are here, among mortals... Is everything all right, Loki?"

"You don't need to worry. I'll be soon with you. But you have to leave. No need to complicate things-"

Too late. Thor run to them, the Avengers on his heels. Ailmar drew up his bow. With quick thinking he lied that he was Alfheim king's royal advisor (instead of a prince) and they better not start a fight. Thor faltered seeing him and with Loki no less.

"What need you from the prisoner? What lies had he spat?"

Ailmar kept silent. He knew he didn't dare to reveal Loki's position, but hearing Thor and seeing how Loki was mistreated was not something he expected nor imagined. It seemed Odinson in his blindness hadn't a clue of what happened to his brother, he now arrogantly called a prisoner. And Loki was silent.

Ailmar knew Loki would be in trouble as soon as he left. But Loki could have run long ago, but didn't. And he could always protect himself.

"How did he come here, Loki?!"  
"What is your game?!"  
"Speak, you sneak!"  
"Are Midgard, Asgard, Jotunheim not enough for you?! Are you completely deranged?"  
"You can be sure I'll find out the truth. And then you'll pay. I vow it."

It hurt when Thor spat his name like a curse and physically hurt him trying to make a point.

... Loki decided to stay as long as to make sure Thor was safe.

It still hurt though.

~o~0~o~

"So why don't you end me, huh, Odinson? Like your father wanted?”   
"You do not deserve to sully Mjolnir by your filthy blood... Jotun.“  


Loki was silent ever since. He didn't utter a single word after Thor's ones. Steve was disappointed in Thor. The mission went in dark mood for everyone. They returned subdued. Thor still manhandled Loki who looked numb, so Steve took the reins and took Loki himself instead. He saw how Thor threw Loki on the ground of a cell without care and how from time to time Loki held his back. It was wrong. Even if Loki was a criminal, he was helping. There was no need for needless violence. And now verbal abuse. Enough was enough.

Loki later in his cell sat quietly also thinking that enough was enough. He never thought Thor would be this cruel to him, to use his heartbreak against him.

Enough.

He kept Thor safe, tried to help, watched over him. And what has he got instead? Thor said he lied about speaking with Odin on his behalf. Said he would continue to rot in a cell for eternity. Tricked him.

Loki closed his eyes on many things, but on 'Jotun'... Not this time.

Seemed like his vacation was over and it was the time to go. Alfheim waited for him, he would bury himself in research and studying, in perfecting his spells. At least he won't be alone.

Ailmar would be there, his sister Sigyn. The king himself said he wanted to talk privately.

Loki had many things to do. Thor showed that he was capable to be peachy without his help. If he got into trouble, his mortal friends would watch over him. Thor showed he didn't need Loki, he didn't see him as a person anymore. Just a beast, a monster, caught and used.

Tomorrow night he would go.

And never come back.

 


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: My _undying_ love for the friends of Thor… I hope you enjoy! *-*

~ XXIV ~

If there is anything more famous than Asgard’s might, it is Asgard’s feasts. Today the guests from Vanaheim were visiting in honor of the Queen Allmother, who was now lost in the crowd, having to speak with so many people.

At the round table were seated all the Vanir Nobles with the Asgard Royal family and friends.

“Speaking of realm’s wellbeing, we ask for a great favor, Allfather. Please let us be honored with the help of the Prince of Asgard. His strength and skill would benefit us greatly in one very important task. We, from our side, would be pleased to repay him with anything he would desire, that in our power to bestow.”

“You want the help of my son? Thor, what say you?”

“My strength and skill is at your service, then, good sir.” Thor smiled overexcited. He was always ready for an adventure. And if Vanir asked for some hunt, it would be brilliant. He missed hanging out in nature with his friends.

“Allfather. Pardon me, but I was speaking of Prince Loki.” The elder councilor interrupted, seeing the misunderstanding took place. “If it is alright with you, your highness?” That was directed at the quiet Prince Loki, whose surprise was hard to miss. 

Odin meanwhile hid his bewilderment quickly, replacing it with a frown. Thor was not so quick as to banish his incredulity and offense taken in Loki's favor. The same could be said for Sif and Fandral, the latter almost snorting at the absurdity.

“You want Loki?!” Fandral exclaimed in disbelief, forgetting his manners. Surely, it was a mistake. Who would ever want Loki's help?

“Yes, milord.” For the first time, visible irritation crossed the noble’s face.

Odin turned to Loki, but instead of the look of pride (that his father seemed to always have to Thor), Loki got a chilling flat stare.

“Loki will help you. Milords.”

 _He didn't even ask my opinion_ , Loki thought bemused, watching his father leave. Thor huffed affronted and remembering his manners at the last moment nodded to the dignitaries, before calling for his friends and leaving as well, not looking back once. _It is fine_ , Loki tried to tell himself. _Not the first time, nor will it be the last_.

“My prince?”

“Yes?” _No need to show how much the reactions of my family hurt me. Not in front of the strangers_. And now that everyone left so suddenly it was his job to diplomatically turn their attention away from the potential offense. Asgard always thought themselves above all the realms after all.

“Is it alright with you? We didn't want to assume... That with the Allfather’s final word...” The councilor looked slightly puzzled, but his hopeful look was unmistakable. _Do they really need my help so much? Mine?_

“No. I mean... Yes. Yes, it is fine. Let me... Uh. Let me take some things and I will be ready to depart.”

“Thank you, your highness. Vanaheim would remember.” To Loki’s amazement, the Vanir guests all smiled at him. Such a difference from everyday disregard.

“If you don't mind me asking. But why not ask my brother? Why me?” _Maybe they were wrongly informed? _Maybe it was just a misunderstanding_? If so, it would hurt – a lot – but at least the truth will be revealed in the beginning, in contrast to the bitter end._

“But my Prince. Even if it doesn’t seem that way, we know what you are capable of, please don’t think us ignorant. Your mind is razor sharp and quick. You’re the best strategist we know. Also, we cannot diminish the importance of your great knowledge and skills in magic. Prince Thor is… nothing of the sort.”

_Well. Damn._

  
~o~0~o~

“Say Thor. Is not our little hero back yet?”

“No.” Thor grunted. He was still somewhat angry, but the worry had started to win over his moods. Why was Loki not back yet? Did something happen?

“Incredible. A simple task and still he takes so much time. What a waste.” Volstagg snorted at his young friend’s words.

Even if Thor was angry at Loki (he knew deep down Loki was not to blame for this situation, well _of course_ not) but Fandral’s words abruptly sparked a wave of fury in him. His brother? A waste? How dare he mock his brother so blatantly? And the others were feeling the same? _What in Hel_?

“Mind your tongue, Fandral.” Said friend looked at him in surprise. Thor was never so harsh to him.

“Tis but a joke, my friend! No harm-“

But Thor’s mind was already running miles a minute. ‘Tis but a joke’ was a well-used expression in Loki’s presence. Thor had always dismissed it for what it was – a jest – but hearing it now grated on his nerves. As if what he was hearing – was hearing all this time – was the gravest of insults hidden under fake laughs.

Was it... always like that? Was it just that he… never noticed?

“But harm it did.” He barked. “Loki is not back for whatever reason. It could be nothing but it could be _something_. So stop slandering him behind his back!” In the end, Thor just could not contain his temper.

But his friends did not seem to take his words seriously. As if they used to dismiss his explosive nature and knew he didn’t mean it.

“Thor, our Fandral didn’t imply anything. After all, it is Loki.” Sif huffed and turned back to sharpening her sword.

And at that moment something clicked. Thor sat quietly in his seat.

The world continued to spin around like always.

The difference was that something in Thor has changed. Looking at his friends the Thunderer slowly realized what it was.

The awareness. The realization. As if for the first time, he looked at everything from the side.

Thor was glad no one was looking at him because he was not sure what his expression revealed to the world.

He closed his eyes.

Norns. How did he never notice? Looking back, he remembered his brother trying so many times to tell him, but only now, Thor got it. His friends hated Loki. No. Maybe it was a strong word. But Sif and others mocked his brother, they laughed at him, dismissed and disregarded him and his abilities. He was their prince, just as Thor was, but Loki was not worthy of anything in their eyes. Only Thor was. They only ever tolerated his brother so as not to anger him. They... Gods.

He always thought it mere jokes. That the slights were imagined. So many times – their entire lives! For how many years they were all together? Playing together? Fighting side by side?

His friends were better liars than he imagined. Only Loki saw them for who they were.

Thor was blind.

How Loki must have felt? Hundreds of such moments surfaced in Thor’s memory. Always called as ‘jokes’. Only Loki didn’t laugh. He was the only one.

His little brother tried, for him, he tried so hard, endured what no other should from those who apparently meant more to Thor than _his own brother_.

Thor was such a fool.

Oh. Just… No. Looking further back, now Thor could clearly see not only his friends, but his _father_ too. His behavior laid out in front of his eyes so clearly. His own father, who until now was the best man he knew…

He could not deal with this right now.

Thor needed to make it up to his little Loki, immediately. His brother loved him, helped him, was always there. They should talk. Honestly. And Thor needed to apologize. It was long overdue.

~o~0~o~

Loki came back two days later. His smile bright and radiating happiness. He looked so alive.

But he didn't go to Thor. Nor did he go to father, as was custom. He went to mother. And later he didn't spare two words to Thor, mostly fleeing his big brother’s presence. Loki didn't tell anyone anything at all, aside from their mother. And it hurt more than Thor expected, now that his eyes were open.

~o~0~o~

A/: I just wish it could have happened in some distant multiverse, okay? *sniff*


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Short one. AU of Ragnarok. Loki & Hela. The Avengers are there too lost on the background, all together. Because.

Enjoy!

~ XXV ~

Thor and Loki on Earth. Hela is back. They fight. Loki gets the closest. Their hits interlock and they pause to take a breath.   
Hela murmurs that she recognizes him, that the trickster such as himself visited her realm a couple of times. Bonding time, huh?   
Loki stiffens and Thor stops. His mortal friends ready to strike once Loki steps aside. Though they better struck now. Two birds with one shot, but Thor said no. Hela leans closer and then she's screaming her rage. Loki tries to escape, but Hela is not finished. She shows him.  
Loki goes blank. Thor cannot stand this, Hela would not take the last member of his family from him.   
And Loki sees. He sees injustice, cruelty, betrayal. Pain. And all of this Odin's doing.   
Loki comes to himself and Hela this close is not a monster. She is just a broken little girl. Not so different from himself, when he found out the truth.   
Loki understands. And Hela sees it, which surprises her.   
Loki lowers his weapons. He feels anger and burning rage - for Hela. Her emotions are so similar it tears his heart apart. She whispers.  
“Who is the villain here?”  
And he knows that Thor will never understand.   
He proposes to help her take over the fitting kingdom, a home for her. Helheim. He will help her.  
She is hesitating but her little not-brother (she knew who he truly was) is the first to offer her kindness. She chooses to heed him.  
“You know what I have to do.”  
And before anyone could react, Hela stabs Loki in the heart with her black sword to the shock of everyone but most of all Thor. He screams as Loki's body sags in Hela’s arms. And he can’t hold off the agonized cry as Hela opens the portal to Niflheim and takes Loki with her.   


~o~0~o~

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Sorry.

~ XXVI ~

“I don’t understand you sometimes.” Loki huffed. This situation was really starting to make him irritated. Why should Tony be so stubborn?

“Yeah, you wouldn’t be the first.” Stark snorted. “Close the door from the outside, would you?” The engineer said, dismissing the god. It was quite rude, but he didn’t care. It was Loki, what should he care.

The man heard as Loki sighed and took a hesitant step closer.

“If you are trying to piss me off, try harder. I have listened to enough insults to recognize that you only want me gone so not to face your problems.” Still Tony didn’t turn to him, preferring to look into his phone.

Loki watched the mortal’s back, hoping for the reaction. He was not very good at comfort (it was not that there were many people who needed it from someone like him, not that he was often comforted himself, being left to his own devices). But Tony was hurting, it was obvious. Loki could count the people he cared about on one hand. Tony Stark – remarkably – was one of them.

When he met the Avengers at peaceful time, _reintroducing himself_ , he and Tony got on like a house on fire. It was an instant spark of mutual like. Like two minds colliding to create a beautiful wave of chaotic energy. Tony picked up at his brain, Loki – only glad to share… _some_ things. But even this ‘some’ was enough to catch an interest of the brilliant mortal. Loki was… curious to get to know Tony better. Of all of the Avengers, Stark was the most receiving of his presence. Not that Tony had to know that he taking Loki into his confidence was healing some of the many deep wounds the god carried. If only he knew how much Loki treasured their time together.

Loki didn’t remember the last time he had a genuine friend. Being a prince and with Thor around it was hard for others to keep up. Mostly it was because of some… unkind rumors. Not many tried hard enough to find out if they were true or not. But Tony has already seen Loki at his worst, so.

“And what do you care, huh? Mind your own business, Loki!”

“I care,” Loki spoke slowly, trying his best to hide how Tony’s open animosity hurt him, “because you are my friend. And I want to help.”

However, it was hard to be helpful, when he was cast-off in such disregarding way. Tony has never talked to him like that before. Yes, Loki was accustomed to such attitudes… but it was before. He just hoped with new people and new friendships it would be different. That Stark would be different.

Loki hoped.

Tony’s hands froze on his phone, after which he put the thin rectangle on the table and turned to look at the god.

“I don’t know what you have imagined between us, but we are certainly not friends, Loki. I let you come in here because you have something I want and- you are useful. Don’t know if you noticed, but we were kinda enemies. And absolved or not, don’t expect that anyone in this tower would want to be _friends_ with you. Definitely not me.”

Tony then smirked just to twist a knife as Loki watched in silence.

“Wanna help? Go help ROGERS! I am sure he would be able to cuddle your misunderstood and pure little heart better. Don’t expect me to give a shit. Bye bye.”

_…_

It took some time for his thoughts to be put in some order. And the first clear one was - _So that’s how it is_. Not having anything else to add, Loki turned around and went out of the Iron Man’s presence. 

~o~0~o~ 

Tony scowled as Dum-E yet again turned his ‘face’ away.

“Oh, come on! It’s not like he will take my bullshit to heart, alright? You will see him again, don’t worry. Here! See? It‘s his new knife – he will definitely come here to take it. I have modified this one, especially for him. You can even give it to him yourself, yeah? What do you think?”

Dum-E cautiously lifted his claw up, perking in hope. Silly boy, Tony thought fondly.

It was almost comical how well his bots have taken to Loki. When Loki first came into the garage, the god was clearly fascinated by everything he saw. Well, duh. It was Tony’s heaven place after all.

But the thing that forever endeared the Avenger to Loki was the way the trickster greeted his bots. He introduced himself and talked to them, later on continuing to treat them as living beings. Not many people – almost no one at all – did that. They just dismissed them. Loki didn’t, often indulging their – mostly Dum-E’s – wish to play. Maybe it was just Asgard’s thing who knew. Maybe it was Loki’s thing.

Thinking of the god brought back the memories of how Tony fucked up. He was angry and then he was cruel. And now he might have – _not might have, idiot – you definitely did!_ \- destroyed the best relationship he ever had since Rhodey and Pepper. Another brilliant person found it in his heart to give Tony Stark a chance – and what does Tony do? Spits it back in their face. Because Tony is too insecure, too distrustful, too prideful. Too foolish.

Pepper once told him that he was a bastard. They weren’t shouting or screaming at each other, they _were_ having an argument though. And after listening to Tony’s argument, Pepper just looked at her hands and quietly said that. They made up, of course, Pepper was too perfect for him anyway, but the words stayed with him for a long time.

And, why, it was true. Instead of being honored that Loki cared for him, tried to find out what’s wrong and help him, instead of saying ‘thanks’ and ‘god, Loki, could you BELIEVE what that bastard Rogers dared to say to me-“ or backpedaling and muttering ‘thanks, Loki, but I got it, don’t worry just please come back later now I just CAN’T’, Tony chose to ruin everything.

Damn it.

Remembering the atrocious things Tony said, he wanted to hurl. Loki just wanted to help, he was worried for his friend, and _of course_ they were friends, Tony Stark didn’t just invite _anyone_ to this place. He was just… _‘_

_You are a bastard Tony.’_

_I_ _know, Pepper._

The look on Loki’s face was a thousand times worse that he could have imagined. Tony didn’t think, he was angry and then he was cruel. If to think about it, he acted just like Howard did. Shit, he was so messed up.

And now even his own bots judged him. Which was, yeah, fair. Friday has not spoken to him yet too.

He pissed off everyone who ever gave a shit about him. No wonder the others didn’t like being near him. Rhodey often said that Tony’s tongue was no less a weapon, than the weapons he actually created. Back then, he was proud of it.

“The Avengers are setting the dinner and don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, as Ms Romanoff said. You are expected. Sir.”

Well, just great. 

~o~0~o~

Loki served himself the bare minimum, just some fruit and a loaf of bread, but mostly so it would take the space on a plate. He didn’t start any conversations, Bruce’s try to ask him about one thing or another didn’t bear fruit, as Loki just kept looking at his glass of water, so not to look at anything – or anyone – else.

Tony watched whether the others would notice Loki’s behavior and prayed that they wouldn’t call him on it. Jesus, Tony and Rogers have already fought today. If Tony were to be dissected because of Loki too, he would literally push himself from the tower. Friday will save him, of course, it was just how bad Stark felt.

Besides, Tony hoped to catch Loki without anyone’s attention and apologize. He fucked up, yeah.

But he already started to think about what he could do to make amends. That knife he worked on for Loki should do. It was a masterpiece of human technology. He hoped Loki would like it.

If he, of course, would wish to see him. Not that Tony himself would want to talk to himself after that, but Loki was much better than he was. He was a darling. He was above ‘mortal’ nonsense, right? Right?

Jesus, Tony hoped Loki was. Or he was screwed.

Loki leaned to his brother and quietly said something – in Asgardian, touching a finger to his temple. Thor murmured something back, after which Loki got up, excused himself and left.

“Hey! Why can he leave, and we cannot? Not fair!” Clint yelled just as Loki’s back disappeared around the corner. Natasha, who prepared the dinner shot Barton a death glare.

“Loki is not feeling well. He asked me to convey that the dinner turned out to be excellent and that if it were possible when he is better, he would not mind tasting your dish, Natasha.”

“Charmer,” Romanoff smirked. But she was pleased nonetheless. Steve and Bruce smiled at this.

“Hey, big guy? He’s not feeling well? What do you mean not feeling well?” _Okay, who was panicking? Tony, you? No._

“Headache,” Thor said bluntly. Tony suspected the Thunder boy knew something. He didn’t greet Tony as he came down, he didn’t once look at him, didn’t talk to him – but he talked to anyone else! Could it be… that he knew? Or Loki told him?!

_Oh goddamn no, please!_

Tony Stark couldn’t afford to have two gods pissed off at him. It was too much after he already felt like shit. It remained only to anger Natasha, Clint and Bruce. Why not? He already showed that he could be a complete douche.

~o~0~o~ 

In the end Tony didn’t find it in himself to meet Loki until the next mission called for the Avengers. His weapon updates though have already been deposited to his teammates’ respective floors. New gear, additional functionality, one knife for a reclusive godling... Yeah, only the best for the heroes.It was a good thing after all, because their enemies were demons from Hell! Or, like Thor shouted angrily, Fire Giants from Muspelheim. It would seem, they have found the wayward portal to Midgard after the Convergence ended. This one did not close as it should have. Instead, it let the bunch of smoking dudes attack anything they saw on their way.  

Loki took out the Casket of Ancient Winters and blasted a wall of ice right on the fire giants’ heads. Who in turn all screamed ‘Jotun filth!’ Apparently, Fire and Frost giant were archenemies. Who could have guessed?

All as one turned their attention on Loki, who cautiously pulled out his new knife (it did not make Tony preen, did not!) but took a step back. They were too many on one, and someone like Loki definitely recognized that his chances were not good and that he should quickly decide the next course of action.  

~o~0~o~ 

It was… it was not happening, Tony thought in shock. His suit froze in the air because its owner could not move, could not breathe, could not think.

How could it happen?!

He had tested it with Extremis! That shit was hotter than any thing possible!

How was it possible, it had failed?!

How could Tony err so grievously?!

But whatever the answer, Tony now knew that it was too late. 

 

Loki's weapon let him down and he was too overwhelmed and surprised to take another. The Fire giants quickly surrounded him. Too quick, it was too quick. The first strike got Loki down, the power behind the hit too strong for someone who was twice as short as the enemy was.  

And what was worse, once Loki was down, instead of a clear kill they started to torture him. Because he is a Jotun and Odin must truly hate him to give him up defenseless on Midgard. They burn him terribly - hands, face, neck. This fire was all the more painful when the Giants made Loki shift in his Jotun form to protect himself.

Thor raged. Berserk rage the humans never saw before enveloped the God of Thunder, when he saw what became of his brother. Loki's screams were the last straw. Thor no longer held to his sanity, he let his rage win. 

~o~0~o~ 

Later, when the subdued heroes were back to the tower, Tony was beyond himself with guilt. He was the one who made Loki a weapon and it has failed the mage. Because of him, Loki almost died. And the last thing Tony said to him was some horrible unfair words.

Loki's heart stopped twice in the ambulance because of shock. No one could touch him because of the blue skin, so it was Tony who did it in the suit. 

~o~0~o~ 

Loki woke up in the infirmary. He was diagnosed with three degrees burns, but his seidr was there to help him overcome his injuries.

'It is just pain.' he will way to Thor, who was terrified of how everything happened. Even hearing Loki say that in some months he will not even have any evidence of the attack was not reassuring.

 

For Thor, it was going to be months of brotherly bonding. The brothers have both missed each other’s company dearly.

For the others, it was going to be months of getting closer to their newest teammate and creating new friendships.

For Tony Stark these months were the epitome of a nightmare. And he could find no one at fault, but himself.

 


	28. Chapter 28

~ XXVII ~

 

A/N: Wow, okay. So I created it back in 2014 and five years later finally found a way to bring the Avengers in this story. I will warn to proceed this story with caution, because there is some hard stuff here. Please be careful. And don’t mind time flow here. It is how it is.

And just to be clear – I don’t hate Jotuns. In fact I think they are pretty cool. But… not in this story. Sorry Jotuns. (Scrulls! Wait up!)

I can just say that Loki deserved better. Always.

[Some tags: Thor 2011 AU, Avengers Endgame AU, Odin and Laufey are worth each other, Thor is a mess, please someone help Loki, helpless Avengers, until they aren’t].

 

~Jotunheim~

 

The Avengers hesitated a lot before deciding that they will do it. They needed to stop Thanos no matter what. But there was something in Thor’s plea, when he asked them to go back in time before Thor’s coronation and before Loki thought to lead the Jotuns in the Weapon’s Vault to ruin it.

 

Thor was at the end of his rope when he found out that his people – those who miraculously survived Thanos’ attack and then Thanos’ snap – that they were caught in a fight with space pirates before they could come to Earth and all killed. It was horrible, and the Avengers felt for Thor, but what he was asking for was madness.

 

Thor raved about getting his brother back, that none of them knew him and that after finding out what Thanos did to his little brother, the king of now nothing was desperate enough to bring up the ultimatum. Either they get Loki back to him alive or Thor will never help any soul ever again. Steve Rogers could only sign. He knew Thor didn’t mean that. And that Thor was apparently going to get drunk to death, seeing as he no longer had anything to live for.

 

Besides, listening to Nebula about Loki’s time in Thanos’ ship, listening about _her_ time in the madman’s clutches, softened the impression the humans had about Loki. Even Clint, he couldn’t watch through the end all the records Nebula had in her memory about Loki’s treatment.

 

After this, Thor had declared his ultimate wish.

 

And the Avengers agreed. So while they prepared everything to go back in time, Bruce mentioned that he was highly concerned about Thor’s mental state. And that perhaps it would be better if Thor stayed here, while all of them – Nat, Steve, Clint, Tony and Bruce – will go after Loki. Rhodey, Scott, Nebula and Rocket could watch after the miserable god.

 

Thor was not going to like it. But his condition was what won them the argument. Thor was too ill – drunk and weakened and unfit - to jump again and Tony said that another one and Thor’s a toast. Figuratively speaking, but Thor didn’t need to know that.

 

And no matter how Thor cried and pleaded, his friends could only promise and assure that they will do their most to bring his little brother back to him. Thor blubbered and laughed and said that they will like Loki, that his brilliant brother was so clever, so strong, they would take to him in no time. Without that titan bastards’ control over him.

 

The humans could only nod. What else they could have done?

 

They were going to get Loki. Thor assured them that Loki was better off here with them - than with the fate he was going to face in his own time.

 

Tony didn’t say it but he had a bad feeling. He remembered Strange’s rumblings that to change a past was to invite a goddamn disaster and that their interference could simply make everything worse.

 

If only he had listened to his gut.

 

~ o ~ 0 ~o ~

 

When the mortals appeared in Asgard through strange technology, everyone who was on a Bifrost site – Thor, the Warriors Three, Sif, Loki and Heimdall – were mildly saying confused. When Captain America tried to explain their presence (because they weren’t supposed to be here per se, but a day earlier – damnit, Scott!) – the Aesir were not so welcoming as they hoped. When the gods heard about the Jotuns, Thor heard only what he wanted and rushed to Jotunheim to fight, before the Jotuns would be able to attack.

 

What the Avengers could not have foreseen, was for them to be denied access to Jotunheim. The situation quickly went from bad to awful. No matter how much they screamed for Thor to stop, he and his friends didn’t listen. (And Jesus, was that Loki? He looked nothing like his elder self, on the contrary, he looked so young – and damn if he was not the only one to try to reason with Heimdall to hold off just a little bit). But Heimdall sent them to Jotunheim after which stayed still, pushing some device so Bifrost exit was blocked by a golden wall. They would answer to Odin All-Father, he promised. Until then…

 

They were trapped. They were screwed.

 

At least after a short but hard talk with Natasha, the tall god did something and they saw what was happening on Jotunheim.

 

The Avengers would forever regret what they brought upon with their actions.

 

~ o ~ 0 ~o ~

 

What no one expected was for Loki to be grabbed by some Jotun warrior and reveal the blue skin to everyone, not just to Loki alone. Loki was shocked no less than anyone else, though scared a lot more. Before anyone could act on it, there was a bright light and Odin All-Father appeared before the group.

 

“You are a liar and a thief, All-Father. Good only in stealing babies. Your son killed my men and I demand retribution!”

 

“Leave my son alone or I will kill yours.” Odin declared coldly.

 

Loki found himself in front of Odin, back to front with a bruising grip on his neck. The same spot Thor always held him in affection – now it was painful and confusing and something in his chest squeezed his heart it ached. Because his father held a weapon at his neck with the intention to kill. And more than that… tight manacles appeared and held closely his wrists together. Magical chains. Loki thought dumbly that only a sorcerer would be able to take them off. 

 

“My son.” Laufey smiled at Loki. Loki swallowed hard. What- what were they talking about? The little part of his mind had already pushed all the pieces together but his heart could not believe it. It just could not.

 

“Yes. My son.” Thor’s companions gasped. When Loki dared to turn only his eyes their way – with a sinking heart he realized they looked at him with disgust and revulsion. Hatred. “I ordered this runt to be given to Winter. His birthright was to die. That you took him play-dress in Asgardian garb and skin does not matter. This abomination is not my son and will never uphold my legacy. I care not if you kill him or not, he should have died long ago.”

 

“I took him so that we could reunite our kingdoms, bring out the permanent peace through him. I see those plans no longer matter.”

 

“F-father?” Loki whispered even if he realized that Odin was never his father. He did not dare move as the tip of Gungnir punctured the skin on his throat and blood slowly leaked down. The shock was so immense that Loki did not even think to take a breath. Odin was pointing his great weapon _at him_. At his s-son…

 

“My son wronged you and you will be repaid. Now we will go and will not be followed. Loki-“

 

“ _Loki_ will stay here. It is wrong to deny him his rightful place. Besides a moment ago, you wanted to kill him. Good idea. My warriors had not a good hunt for a long time. It will be a fine sport. See for how long the runt will survive. We welcome him _home_.”

 

All present Jotun warriors smirked cruelly at the trembling figure in the All Father’s hands. Odin could almost taste the fear radiating from Loki and his horror. But he could do nothing. And the chains… He regretted putting them on a boy. But it was too late…

 

Odin pushed Loki forward in the snow, accidentally cutting more of boy’s skin, held up Gungnir and in the next second, they were all – aside from Loki – back in Asgard. Thor’s scream was the last thing everyone heard.

 

_[-No! No! You can’t do this! (Tony)_

_-YOU HAVE TO GO BACK! THOR! (Steve)_

_-Jesus Christ, what have we done…(Bruce)]_

Loki was surrounded by monsters. His whole being could not comprehend and believe in this nightmare. He desperately agonizingly wanted to wake up back in his bed in Asgard and forget it like the most horrible nightmare in his life and move on.

 

But it would not end. Laufey stepped to him and roughly grabbed his shoulder in one move putting him on his feet. Loki felt his soul withering away and howling as blue color crippled on his hands and face, he could feel it. Red eyes watched him with no emotion, not hate nor disgust nor care. Indifferent.

 

Suddenly Loki was pushed to the edge of a circle of warriors; barely staying upright with the force he was thrown. Laufey’s calm voice broke anticipating silence.

 

“Seeing how deformed this runt’s legs are, I say we give him fore. Run fast Loki. Tis the only mercy I would bestow on you. Warriors! Wait until the runt goes behind a cliff and have your fun.” Loki looked wide-eyed at Laufey, at his _father_ as he condemned him to a painful horrible death all the while looking, as it was a mercy. King of Jotunheim smirked at Loki’s face but his smile faded and something similar to pity appeared in his expression.

 

Just for a moment. And gone.

 

“Run.”

 

And run Loki did. Loki never run that fast in his life. His mind went blank and he only knew snow and ice and his legs taking him away as if he flew from Hell’s fires. Absently he heard laughter following his way but Loki did not dare to turn his head back. His eyes sought shelter, something, _anything_ to hide in, to disappear, and to be gone.

 

~ o ~ 0 ~o ~

 

Loki covered his mouth with such a force that no breath would give his position away. Silent tears leaked from his eyes but Loki made no sound, terrified out of his mind that those horrible creatures would find him and tear him apart. ‘Sport’ Laufey said. He was a sport. To catch, to hurt, to torture, to mutilate, to rape, to kill. Loki heard what those beasts were speaking about while looking for him, all dirty and disgusting details that made him want to throw up, to kill himself before it happened. Loki did not dare to make a sound. Those were the monsters he always feared.

 

A monster that he was all along.

 

~ o ~ 0 ~o ~

 

“He-heimdall… Pl-please… M-mother… Oh gods, you are not my m-mother… No… Please, someone… Anyone… help me…”

 

Helpless. Weak. No one here to protect you now.

 

Loki pushed his body closer to ice as if to become one with the mountain. Trying to disappear. It was so cold; the wind was unforgiving, harsh. Loki let out a sob as he curled on himself; keeping that little warmth he was left. It seemed he knew only cold. Nothing but cold, abandonment and loneliness.

 

~ o ~ 0 ~o ~

 

Loki slowly woke up. He opened his eyes and saw the white of snow and the black of the sky. Immediately Loki felt tears burning in his sore reddened eyes – it was not a nightmare, he did not wake up in his chambers in Asgard with Thor pushing him from his bed. No. It was a reality. The reality, when he was an abandoned monster, deficient deformed thing picked up for keeping until needed, left to die and rejected, a creature with no purpose, no future, no one to care for it, without father, mother, brother. Alone, unneeded, thrown away to die in the cold… Nothing. He was nothing. And no one would care if he died…

 

No one.

 

It was now the usual thing for Loki to cry when he woke up. Every morning he had not the blessing of oblivion about where and what he was. The truth tore his soul apart every time he was awake. It hurt so much Loki wanted to go to sleep and never wake up ever again so that he would not feel his heart-shattering in pieces, his soul slowly dying, and despair swallowing him whole. He has only himself now.

 

Loki did not let himself think of Odin or Thor. To remember what Odin did, how cold and calculating his eye was when looking at Loki, how he only thought of his own benefit, how he chained him in the monster’s lands and left… It broke Loki’s heart. Be it Thor the situation would have been different.

 

And Thor… It was because of Thor this all happened, Thor’s arrogance, Thor’s mess. Loki had only wanted to protect him. Thor, who stood with the look of horror on his face, who lifted Mjolnir as if ready to kill the one he called brother. Who said not a word against Odin’s decision, who did nothing to help Loki in the end. Why would he?

 

After all, Thor never did see how the others hurt him, never protected him, instead of joining in mockery or leaving altogether. Thor chose to be ignorant. But… Loki loved him…How could Thor _not_?

 

Centuries of love and brotherhood erased in a second.

 

He thought a little about those strange mortals that appeared from nowhere. How they looked like, the way they talked. It was so strange, they were so different, but they stood together like one. It was clear they cared for each other. However, what did it matter… Loki would never know what their words meant, why they appeared in Asgard, _who_ they were… Whether they could have been friends…

 

Loki felt so so sorry for himself. No one would comfort him anymore, Loki had no one in the  _entire world…_ beside himself. Left, abandoned and forgotten by everyone he ever knew.

 

So he would try to keep going for that boy who was never enough, who was different, friendless and sensitive. An outcast everywhere he went. But what he knew was that he was a survivor. He lived when everyone wanted him dead. No matter how much the others hurt him, he endured. He kept going. Because that was, what Loki was. A survivor.

 

He was Loki. And he will survive this.

 

~ o ~ 0 ~o ~

 

“Well look what we have here.”

 

Loki’s blood froze in his veins. They found him. He was so careful. But it was all in wane.

 

“Our _prince_! Come out. We will escort you to your royal chambers. Maybe even join you?”

 

“We see you are tired. We are glad to relieve you of the trouble of walking. And running.”

 

“Yes. There is nowhere to run, rabbit. The game is over.”

 

_[- Jesus Christ… they found him. Fuck. Fuck!_

_\- Tony, calm down, please. (Bruce)_

_\- Maybe it will be better. (Clint with a flicker of regret.)_

_\- Shut up, Barton! I don’t fucking care what you all think of him but I don’t want him to die! That kid was not evil, he was not even bad! After that… shitfuckload disaster in Jotunheim, after they left him there to be killed because THOR fucked up, those fucking lies he found out and how Odin tried to manipulate Laufey by killing him – Loki did not deserve it. Damnit, even our Loki from New York did not deserve it! If the same shit happened to him and he’d gone crazy as he did – I’m not even mad at him anymore! But this Loki… guys, this Loki was innocent and now he is about to die and I can’t watch it happening… It’s not fair. Not fair! Friday when we will be able to jump? I am done with  Asgard and this fucking rainbow bridge. I need my own jump!_

_\- Estimated time: 18 hours 43 minutes, sir._

_\- Goddamnit!_

_\- This is our fault. We intervened and changed history. It shouldn’t have happened. Oh god, what will our Thor say… (Bruce)_

_\- He can’t use his hands. (Natasha murmured, watching Loki)_

_\- There are six of them… (Steve bit his lip hard. The Loki he got to know from Thor was polite and kind, not marked by madness he got from his heartbreak. And he was about to be killed before their eyes. Terrified and alone)._

_\- And knowing that Thor is now eating his face out when his brother is starving, that he is in comfort relaxing and Loki suffers so much because Thor is responsible for the mess… You know what? I’ll choose Loki over this version of Thor and Asgard any time. (Tony)_

_\- I can’t watch. (Bruce turned away when he heard the first bone snap).]_

 

Loki struggled, he fought with all he had, he was trying to stay alive. His hands were a mess. He fell two Jotuns with his knife he held hidden in his boot. Another one died from an ice sword of other Jotun, who Loki put as a shield. He was quicker but they were stronger and bigger. And they were too many.

 

Loki was not fast enough to block a heavy blow to his face and was thrown many feet away, landing painfully on his back. His face became numb from pain and the ice touch (Loki was even sure that it was blue in some places).

 

But with that, his pain did not stop. The Jotun who hit him was joined by another one and both of them shortened the distance in a couple of long steps. From there Loki was hit mercilessly on his stomach, his back, his face, and limbs. A little Jotun tried to protect himself by blocking blows by his manacled hands but was instantly grabbed by them and _pulled_. Loki _screamed_ as his hands were crushed in Jotun’s big ones, the metal piercing his already tender flesh, smearing blood all over the white snow.

 

In a desperate try to escape Loki brought his leg forward and a Jotun who stood above him did not have time to catch himself and fell – just as Loki rolled over and put a knife in Jotun’s back. Not wasting time Loki evaded the fifth one and buried his knife deep in his neck to the hilt.

 

Turning to the last one Loki did not expect him to be so quick and was not ready to block the hit on his head. Before he dropped on the ground, the Jotun caught his neck and with a terrible force threw him down.

 

_[Bruce winced and gritted his teeth – Hulk did almost the same to Loki]._

 

Loki cried out from the pain but it was nothing compared to what awaited him further on. The Jotun lifted his foot and pushed it down on Loki’s right leg. Loki howled so loud, the whole of Jotunheim must have heard this cry full of agony.

 

Then still silent a Jotun crouched down and started to squeeze Loki’s throat. His other hand lowered on Loki’s stomach, then roughly spread his legs, all the while suffocating his pray.

 

The Avengers gasped in horror about what a Jotun was meaning to do to Loki. The god’s trashing body seized from the luck of air, his eyes red and full of tears from the fate that awaited him. Loki desperately struggled against the enemy but his hands were bound, he was losing blood, his wounds were _too_ painful and he was nowhere as strong as his foe. He was losing it.

 

_[- No… No! NO! Come on! Please! No! (Tony screamed as Loki’s eyes started to dim, his movements slowing)._

_\- God help him… (Steve knew cruelty but this… he prayed for Loki to survive it)._

_\- Fight… (Bruce whispered brokenly)._

_Clint covered his mouth by his hand. He hated Loki, it was the truth. But this Loki did nothing to him, did nothing wrong to anyone. What his supposed family did to him was beyond any possible forgiveness. And thrown away to the dogs betrayed, suffering, he was trying to survive. And now he was about to die. And how – in fear, alone and in pain. On the verge of forcibly losing his dignity. Clint wished he was there to put an arrow in that monster’s head and fucking hug Loki senseless._

_\- Please! Loki, please!]_

 

On the verge of death, Loki opened his eyes and saw a beast’s face above him. How Loki was still alive and thinking he would never know, but seeing his blue hands unknowingly but instinctively Loki summoned ice shard like he saw the warriors do here. On pure reflex, Loki put it through the last enemy’s head. Silent as the monster was all this time, a Jotun crumbled.

 

Loki crawled away from a crashing weight coughing and coughing endlessly, trying to get as much air as he could in his damaged lungs but it was not enough. The panic attack at that he was about to be raped stole the last breath away and Loki wheezed and trashed, tears of pain blurring his vision. When Loki saw that his attackers were all dead – truly dead – his panic subsided and a young man could finally take a deep breath and keep it. For a time the only thing Loki did was breathe.  

 

_[- Oh thank god!_

_\- Hang in there, Loki. We are coming._

_\- Be strong, kid.]_

 

From where he lay on the bloody snow still trying to get enough air in his lungs, Loki watched the result of the fight. Six dead Jotuns. He killed them. Loki felt his body ache terribly: his wrists were already damaged by constantly wearing those cursed manacles – now one of his wrists was broken and Loki had no idea how to mend the bone without his magic or a healing stone. He had none. Also, his torso was a mess of bruises – black, yellow, purple. Not long ago Loki shed his leathers so as not to constrict his movements. So he stayed just in his black undertunic. The god only regretted it at nights when it became freezing even with his cursed heritage. The nights he spent trembling and curled in on himself.

 

The worst injury beside his hands was to his right leg. Something shifted there and broke after that giant stepped on it with so much brute force. Loki was reluctant to stand and face even more pain. If he could not walk… he was a dead man.

 

But lying here further was dangerous. Frost Giant’s comrades could come investigate their absence or animals would smell the blood. Loki should go and quickly.

 

Only it meant finding a new hiding place… Damn them all.

 

Loki clenched his eyes shut. He could do it. Grinding his teeth, Loki tried to stand. And immediately he fell back with a sharp cry. The tears burst from his eyes from a sudden agony in his leg. Panting and hiccupping Loki carefully shifted it straight. There was no one to laugh at his tears, he was alone in so much pain after fighting to stay alive from strong and monstrous foes, he was _this_ close to being violated by someone bigger and stronger, not being able to escape this horrible fate…

 

Loki broke down. Sometimes the mischief god wondered where his tears were coming from – he cried so much this past month, almost every day if he did not pass out from exhaustion. And then cried, even more, when he realized, that in Asgard Loki did not dare to cry if front of others least he was mocked, laughed at, ridiculed. So he stoked and stoked - his hurts, his suffering from the cruelty of others, his desperate need for attention at least from his family, buried deep inside himself so no one would use it against him. Now after so much storing and so much pressure, the dumb broke. Everything burst out from inside his soul, everything. Loki couldn’t not weep harder, desperately comforting himself, because there was no one to offer comfort for him. His mother was not here, Sleipnir was not here. And how sad it is that Loki had no one else who could provide him with warmth without risk to be burned? Sad indeed. Well, he had none now. With his mother it was all an excellent elaborate lie, she could have just humored him being a decent person…

 

Loki still loved her even knowing she lied as much as Odin. But… he could not forgive her. He could not.

 

And Sleipnir would shriek away from a cold touch of his ‘true’ skin, looking for someone warmer and better.

 

His sobbing subsided with time. Loki noticed darkness coming from the horizon. It was time to go until he could not see anything at night, not being able to summon the light and getting lost in unforgiving nature, a weak damaged prey for hunters.

 

Loki almost passed out from the pain when he finally rolled on his front and barely shifted his leg at the knee but kept going. The tears never stopped as he painfully stood on his left leg trying to keep his weight away from the injured one. Loki almost gave up when he had to take a step. He almost decided to drop back on the icy ground and die realizing that a staff that could help him walk was seven meters away from where he crouched. But in the end, everything came back to one thing.

 

Loki promised himself he would survive it. He will, no matter what awaited him in the future. Loki was ready to die on sunny beaches in Alfheim, in beautiful forests of Vanaheim, he was okay with dying on dusty and overpopulated Midgard. But he. Would not. Die. _Here_. Not on this gods forsaken wasteland. Not in the midst of monsters. He was Loki and he would get out of here alive. He would endure. He promised.

 

He needed to eat. What he found on dead warriors was so little. Loki was starving for a long time now. And Loki realized he was sick. He felt his skin burn in freezing temperatures. He shivered and was sweating what in cold weather it meant death. He needed shelter and quickly, but seeing how slowly he moved with his crashed leg Loki was not sure he would find it in time.

 

Fate smiled at him the next day. Loki stepped inside one cave and almost wept with relief. There was no ice but stone and it was dry. No wind entered here.

 

As he lay there on the stone, he thought that he saw a bright light somewhere in the distance. A painful hope that it was a Bifrost died a moment later. It was not a Bifrost. Perhaps some star fell or a comet. Or maybe he was just seeing things. After all, he had no more illusions about his health anymore – he could be hallucinating.

 

So when he felt hands touching him – kind touches, so careful, how bizarre – it must have been because of the fever. He even heard voices, soothing and gentle. It was nice.

 

It was the first time in a long time he fell asleep smiling.

 

~ o ~ 0 ~o ~

 

A/N: Can you imagine what happens next?

Thank you for reading!


	29. Chapter 29

~ XXVIII ~

 

Your rightful judgment

 

The All Father is wise and just. His word is law. Odin decides fates and punishes for crimes. But what of his mistakes? His crimes and lies? Why has Odin a right to punish, but be unpunished for his own misdeeds?

 

~~~

 

“You broke the heart of the purest being, was it for your lies and carelessness that that heart turned black. Over time, it shuttered, cracked and screamed in agony. Before the pressure became unbearable and it broke. You condoned your named son’s suffering, you stayed silent for his cries for help. You destroyed him with your lies. Now stand Odin All Father and watch your doing. For Loki will not wake again. We shall take him. He will be better with us. Thus he won’t suffer again, because of you!”

 

“No! Wait… My son- Don’t take him away from me. He is my _son_. Don’t-”

 

Thor sobbed, staying on his knees, watching with dying hope at his little brother, hurt and trembling from pain, lay on the ground before the throne, invisible force holding him trapped. Thor couldn’t stand a thought that his beloved brother will be taken from him forcefully and all because of Odin’s mistakes. Loki will once again pay for what he had no power of changing. Spirits, freed, were finally punishing Odin bringing his son’s death as a price.

 

Odin, who tried for indifference before it all started, was panicking openly now. He didn’t think something like that could ever happen to him.

Now the All Father couldn’t physically tear his gaze from Loki’s curled form on the golden floor.

 

Loki was crying too. Silent tears covered his pale face. He was obviously in a lot of pain. It seemed that his heart was torn inside his chest, his soul crushed. He felt helpless, abandoned to fate chosen for him by the others. Indeed, his life was someone’s cruel joke – and will end as such.

 

“No! No. Stop! Do not touch Loki. Not- Loki… I have- I have wronged him, please hurt him no more. I will pay any price, but _don’t take my son away from me_!”

 

“You speak as if you care and love him-”

 

“YES! I love him! He is my son by heart! He is a precious boy ever since I first held him in my arms! I love him. I will give you anything – but don’t take him, please… Let him – Let him live!”

 

The spirits were silent for a moment, observing Odin with neutral expressions. A little spark of hope stirred in Thor’s heart… until he looked at his baby brother.

 

And then his world stopped. Not daring to take a breath Thor looked back at his father who was still oblivious, who still believed that the spirits will change their minds, who didn’t know-

 

“You should have said those words to him _while he was able to hear you!_ Now it is just a hollow sound.” One of the spirits hissed, looking at Odin in contempt.

 

The king’s expression of confusion was replaced by one of disbelief, but when he looked at Loki it turned to one of pure horror and suffering. Odin swallowed a scream of terror. No air could fill the sudden emptiness of his very being.

 

Trembling uncontrollably Odin with what strength remained in him hurled to the place Loki was laying in. His son, who didn’t deserve it, not for something Odin has done.

 

But it was over. Loki’s eyes no longer saw, his chest did not raise, his voice forever silenced.

 

It was over.


End file.
